The #1 Self-Care Tip for Deescalating Yourself as an Autism Mom When Your Child is Escalated

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Hi Moms! I wanted to share the best self-care tip I have found to date. It isn’t yoga, meeting up with friends, or a massage. As nice as these things sound, they are only immediate fixes.

Nope! I am talking about something more long term. It’s the same concept for all moms but varies by mom and child.

I notice that this comes easier for moms that are more like their child and might be on the spectrum. However, that is not the case for all moms and might require a little more work… at first. Once you implement it consistently, it becomes second nature. ALL moms can do it!

In this episode, I tell you my #1 way to deescalate when my child is escalated, which is the ultimate form of self-care.

Find the full transcript for this episode at www.thrivingmomsofautistics.com/40

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I love our group of moms and am excited for the moms to come. Autism moms are a force!

The Autism Mom Challenges of an Escalating Child

We have all been there! Our kids struggle in moments of trying to make sense of the world in a way that most of us could not fathom.

For example, it’s really hard to communicate your needs when you have a communication disorder. It’s quite difficult to hear what someone is saying when all you can hear is the buzzing from the lights because your senses are accelerated and no one else notices it.

I have learned in those moments to remember one thing. EMPATHY! I might not have had that experience or don’t fully understand the “why” behind the behavior. However, in that moment, I flip the switch from unnerved or frustrated to an attempt to empathize.

Easy, right? Not necessarily. It takes a lot of work to switch gears in some situations, but you can do it.

Perhaps you are struggling yourself that day. We all have bad days. That is when you might need a post-it on the wall that says, “empathize!” Right? I have an imaginary post-it in my mind to remind myself. You might need an actual post-it and that’s okay!

I recall a visit to Costco. My son was wrapping his hands around me from behind giving me a big hug as we shopped. Everyone thought I was the luckiest mom alive and was amazed at how my son showed his affection. I heard, “Oh, that’s sweet. He just loves his mama.”

They completely misread his behavior. What he was really saying was, “Hey mom! This is the second store you’ve dragged me to, and I have had enough. My way!”

I learned quickly at the end of our Costco visit that he has a limit, and I need to pay attention to that. Let’s just say that it involved some dropping and possibly some kicking on our way out of the store.

Shout out to Costco for their ability to recognize and support our needs as an autism family.

I will often give you real examples, so you do not know you are alone. I like to give you solutions to remember that you are human and that it takes time to overcome obstacles. YOU are NOT alone!

As a mom of an autistic, there is no testing the limits with our child. Our child makes those limits well known if we listen closely and pay attention. They are smart little ones.

I call this the hidden autism mom superpower. It is this superpower that will lead to increased self-care when you use it.

How is Deescalating Myself as a mom of an Autistic a Form of Self-Care?

Meeting your child where they are is essential for self-care. Imagine how you feel when someone meets you where you are at in a challenging moment? You feel thankful that someone is there in that moment, right?

You can do that for your child. What a difference it makes!

Go one step further… when you consider ways to stay one step ahead of your child, it makes a