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#51 What Can I Do When Someone Hears Blame in Everything I Say?
Manage episode 430257547 series 3498921
Yvette Erasmus द्वारा प्रदान की गई सामग्री. एपिसोड, ग्राफिक्स और पॉडकास्ट विवरण सहित सभी पॉडकास्ट सामग्री Yvette Erasmus या उनके पॉडकास्ट प्लेटफ़ॉर्म पार्टनर द्वारा सीधे अपलोड और प्रदान की जाती है। यदि आपको लगता है कि कोई आपकी अनुमति के बिना आपके कॉपीराइट किए गए कार्य का उपयोग कर रहा है, तो आप यहां बताई गई प्रक्रिया का पालन कर सकते हैं https://hi.player.fm/legal।
It's a common - if painful - dynamic: we want to share our pain with another in the hopes of receiving empathy, but their best move is to try and fix our pain by finding fault with something we've said or done.
It is so hurtful to be blamed for our own pain.
In this week's episode, a caller asks a universally applicable question: "What can I do when I share my pain with my spouse and he blames me for it?"
Highlights include:
- 2:50 If all I get is blame, why should I even try to have the conversation?
- 7:03 How to ground a discussion in a micro moment
- 10:03 Scripts that help "waking up" feel pleasurable and not painful
- 12:05 Doing the inner work necessary for successful conversations
- 15:15 A script for getting to "Yes"
- 22:54 "I'm not trying to change you."
- 24:24 The role of our defensive system
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