NRR 6 - Clayton Riptide

Benny's Grab Bag

Did you know Tuckey’s Big Boy milkshakes are always hand dipped and delicious? They’re not a sponsor, someone on the show just really likes milkshakes, this is Vox and you’re listening to Not Really Radio

Do you remember Billy the big Mouth Bass? It was that motion activated fish that would sing things like Take Me to the River or Don’t Worry Be Happy whenever you walked by it. Recently I reached out to Gemmy, the American novelty manufacturing company responsible for Billy and asked if they had a comment regarding our own little talking fish drama. You know, the talking fish allegedly headed for the Red Mill Pond? I received a reply from the marketing department via snail mail which had this to say:

“Thank you, consumer, for your interest in our product. While your query is fascinating and sounds like a fun challenge, we are confused. Are you asking us to help you develop a fish that actually talks? Because we can totally do that, we’re really great at this science stuff. However, our official stance must be that we can not in good conscience, however, support that course of action. We here at Gemmy believe that if fish could really talk, you would not want to hear what they have to say. Perhaps contact Dr. Moreau. In the meantime, can we offer you a discount on one of our airblown inflatable lawn decorations?”

Side note, did you know Queen Elizabeth loves Billy the Big Mouth Bass? Sources close to the crown claim there are anywhere from one to seven of the animatronic fishes in Buckingham palace at any given time.

In other news, I’ve received reports of a Chester Chase sighting recently. Apparently while in pursuit of a really nasty hydra that lives near the wastewater treatment plant, Mr Chase collided with a turtle. A well-known lover of shelled reptiles, Chase immediately broke off pursuit and successfully resuscitated his unintended victim. And that ladies and gentlemen is what a hero looks like.

Speaking of Chester Chase, let me tell you about a voice actor, writer, climbing enthusiast and all around amazing guy I know. He is also going to be playing the role of Chester Chase at the Not Really Radio live event on April 30 at 7pm. He goes by the moniker Clayton Riptide which is pretty awesome all by itself. I was able to catch up with Clayton Riptide on the phone recently and score this little interview. You know I love that sound byte so much I might just hit it again. Clayton Riptide. Heh, heh, cool.

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