Judith Orloff, MD: Using Empathy as a Healing Force – Part 1

The Aware Show

Do you sometimes feel reclusive or like an introvert? Do you enjoy spending time by yourself? Perhaps you consider yourself sensitive and empathic. These traits may make it challenging to navigate very busy, noise-filled environments. But how can you become an empowered empath? Our guest today, Judith Orloff, MD, is a psychiatrist, an empath, and author of the new book, “The Genius of Empathy,” which offers powerful skills to tap into empathy as a daily healing practice in your life and relationships. She addresses these ideas and more during today’s interview. During the pandemic, people were given permission to stay inside and alone. This may have seemed ideal for many empaths and Highly Sensitive People. Today, events have returned, we are invited to venture out socially, and life has gotten even more hectic. Yet, many people are still overwhelmed with the thought of being in noisy places and around crowds. Dr. Orloff discusses ways you can be strong whether staying in or going out into the world. So many people were isolated and lonely during the pandemic years. She talks about how it affected Highly Sensitive People, as well as empaths. Highly Sensitive People are very sensitive to lights, sounds, and crowds. Dr. Orloff talks about utilizing practical skills to stay in observation, rather than being taken out by the fray. Meditation may also help. She talks about psychopaths, narcissists, and those with empathy deficiency disorders. Oftentimes, there’s an attraction between empaths and narcissists. The narcissists want to be adored, but they cannot reciprocate. Empaths need to be very cautious of these types of people. Dr. Orloff talks about “love bombing” and how that can be a warning sign. This is typical of narcissists and psychopaths in the beginning. Empaths want love and narcissists want power. This is a huge difference between the two. She further discusses the importance of self-love and self-empathy. Many of us are told we are not enough, or not doing a great job, etc. Loving ourselves is so important, even if you make mistakes. You can always make amends. Lisa and Dr. Orloff talk about difficult situations and conversations. Dr. Orloff suggests having conversations with only one topic. You can move on to additional topics later so as to not overwhelm the person. Keep your center, and have loving detachment. It’s so important to not become enmeshed with another person, especially for empaths. Boundaries can be a huge challenge for empaths, but it’s a skill that must be developed. Some people feel empathy fatigue. When there’s too much noise, or too many people, it’s time to take a break, sit in a quiet or dark room, and slow down. Meditation helps. An empath can be blown out emotionally by the news. It can be very painful to watch. So how can you stay informed but not be overwhelmed? Dr. Orloff suggests setting a limit as to how much news you watch and reminds us that it is not our responsibility to take on all the emotional suffering of the world. She deeply discusses the idea that if you have empathy, you will NOT have wars. Empathy helps to diffuse the warlike energy. You can be empathic toward others, and you don’t want to carry resentments. You want to have a lightness of being and free yourself. Conflict resolution is so important. In fact, the Dalai Lama wrote the Foreword to her book. His life has been dedicated to empathy and compassion. Empathy can be a Superpower! The more people who can empathize, the more the world can become a more peaceful place. Everyone can do this. You must get out of your mind and judgement and go to your heart. The heart wants to try to find empathy and compassion for suffering, especially for those who trigger you. You can have compassion for the wounded part of those who trigger you by recognizing their misery. It doesn’t excuse them, but it frees you. It’s so important to be light, so you don’t have to carry conflict with you. You can choose how much time you want to spend with this person. Don’t be triggered. Write in your journal so you know that those are your emotional triggers. You can begin to work with them. In order to live more peacefully, it is important to accept people’s rigidity. You do not need to agree with them. Dr. Orloff has written many books, including “The Empath’s Survival Guide” and “Thriving as an Empath.” She is a New York Times bestselling author and a UCLA clinical faculty member. She synthesizes conventional medicine with cutting-edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating highly sensitive people in her private practice. She has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, and the New York Times. This is Part 1 of the interview. Info: DrJudithOrloff.com