Every Person Needs to Be Selfish in a Relationship, Just Make Sure to Take Turns

Romancipation

S4 Episode 7: Every Person Needs to Be Selfish in a Relationship, Just Make Sure to Take Turns

Episode Summary

When two people come together in a partnership, there is often the expectation that individual autonomy takes a back seat to the couple’s wants and needs. This is the quickest way to breed resentment in a relationship. Instead, each person should work in tandem to achieve common goals while still preserving their mental, emotional and physical health.
One of the only ways to make sure your individual wants and needs are being met is to be slightly selfish when the opportunity presents itself. Prioritizing self-preservation is what reinforces a couple’s bond. When there is mutual respect, trust, empathy, acceptance and accountability in a relationship, prioritizing your own needs and wants at times is not only possible, but encouraged.
The key to a successful relationship is recognizing that each member of the partnership will have times when they need support and other times provide support to their partner. Relationship problems arise when one partner always places their own wants and needs as a priority over the other without ever considering the impact it is having on their partner and relationship.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when people are under the mistaken belief that their relationship is special or unique.

Show Notes

Are you taking into account your partner’s needs and wants, or do you tend to prioritize your own? The truth is that it’s okay to be selfish in a relationship sometimes. Putting your physical, mental, and emotional health above anyone else’s is okay. You can’t take care of other people if you are running on empty.
In a relationship, it’s easy for this to get lost. The word “selfish” gets a bad reputation, but there are shades of selfishness. In some forms it can be destructive, but in other forms it can also promote self-preservation. Another way to think of it is making yourself versus the other person a priority.
At different times in your relationship, you may need more support. For example, if you’re in school, you may need more financial support. However, it’s important to take turns and be there for your partner in the times when they need your support more, whether that’s emotionally, mentally, financially, or in another way.
Being selfish does not mean feeling entitled to have your needs and wants placed above those of your partner. That will just lead to resentment. It’s about constructively building together and knowing when to put your partner’s needs first. It’s all about ensuring there’s a balance between both individuals.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people think their relationship is special or unique. Humans tend to follow predictable patterns. When people think no one else can possibly understand their feelings, it’s insulting and immature. A person who believes this ends up being screwed over due to their arrogance.
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