73: This is What it Sounds Like When a Man Cries feat. Dom Gabriel

Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

We often talk about how men have an easier life, but I think at this point we can also agree that maintaining the identity of “a real man” is extremely hard. Masculinity is what I would call a wet fish identity - because like catching a fish with your bear hands - It’s hard to do, even harder to hold onto and incredibly easy to lose a grip on. And one of the fastest ways to call your capability of holding onto a wet fish into question, is to add more slick to the situation by crying.
It’s one thing for a man to reveal his hurt, pain and insecurities - which you might recall we already discussed in episod 4 of Lovers and Friends, do we really want vulnerable men starring Aba n Preach.
So what comes up for us when we see a man cry? And how do we deconstruct those feelings without tearing down the man or his masculinity in the process? These are all questions I wanted to pontificate with, with the man himself, Dominic Gabriel- a personality and mental health advocate best known from his appearances on Netflix's Perfect Match and The Mole. You may also recognize him from his viral Tik Toks OR from his brand new podcast Dom Meets World.
Conversation starter pack from this episode:
What is masculinity? Is it something you have? Or something you have to earn and maintain?
Is it a turnoff to see a man cry?
Is it a turnon?
Aren’t both of those responses equally as strange? What’s the healthier alternative?
Is crying a useful expression regardless of gender? Should we all attempt to control it because it can be likened to losing your temper?
How do we create an environment where people tasked with proving their masculinity, don’t feel like they have to keep up the audition in front of us?
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