What to Expect When You‘re Expecting - Non Regents Deluxe Dad Edition, Or, Mansplaining Fatherhood

Five Dollar Buzz

It’s been said a woman becomes a mother the moment she learns she’s pregnant. Rivaled by no system known to MALE, the female reproductive system (complete with a vast array of inherent natural selective nurture traits triggered upon conception), is an amazing and infinitely fascinating vessel of life creating and life sustaining machinery. Long the subject of fine art, prose, anthropologic study and scientific inquiry; the process of becoming a mother, or “matrescence,” is a neurobiological experience so profoundly divine, sitting here — attempting description with a pair of male thumbs seems almost akin to taking an Etch a Sketch stab at Picasso’s Guernica.

But if you think defining motherhood is hard… what of fatherhood? In contrast to a newborn’s immediate, bodily intimacy with the mother — what can we say about dear old Dad? I mean what can we really say about a relationship that begins with inevitable distance? Whereas mothers begin from a position of intimacy and must consciously choose to reject it, fathers begin from a position of distance and must consciously choose to claim their role as father — a non essential one in the Wild Kingdom. We’re the only male animals arrogant enough to try that.

Eight years ago last week, both George and Nate Buzzard became fathers for the very first time. In less than a week, Pete Buzzard will do the same. With a mere combined 16 years to the day in the field of fatherhood, these early inning dads try and break it down for the rookie call up. Hilarity ensues. Five Dollar Buzz presents: Episode 208 - What to Expect When You’re Expecting - Non Regents Deluxe Dad Edition - Or, Mansplaining Fatherhood.