324 – Role Models and Mentors, with Rachel Thomas

Ending Human Trafficking Podcast

Dr. Sandie Morgan is joined by Rachel Thomas as the two discuss the importance of role models and mentors for vulnerable youth.

Rachel Thomas

Rachel Thomas is a survivor, advocate, and educator. She is serving her second term on the White House Advisory Council, co-founded Sowers Education Group, and speaks all over the country. Rachel Thomas will be the Amplify 2024 Keynote speaker to support the work of the Global Center. She has previously been a guest on the Ending Human Trafficking Podcast on episode #196: Ending The Game and episode #272: The Cool Aunt Series.

Key Points

• Role models and mentors have a significant impact on youth, particularly black youth and those in the foster care system. They are crucial in providing guidance, stability, and positive examples that many youth may lack.
• Many youth look up to hip hop artists who may embody success and empowerment in ways that resonate with them, although there are potential pitfalls of hyper-sexualization and dysfunctional themes in the genre.
• When it comes to mentoring youth, challenges may arise surrounding the idolized figures in hop hop culture, however, it is important to have conversations around these influences without dismissing the artists or their influences.
• As a mentor, it is important to build rapport, understand the youth’s perspectives, and gradually introduce alternative ways of thinking and aspirations.
• It is important that adults get involved in mentoring programs, such as through organizations like Big Brother Big Sister, or creating internships for youth within local communities. One committed mentor can make a significant difference in a young person’s life.

Resources

• #196: Ending the Game
• #272: The Cool Aunt
• Sower’s Education Group
• Coaching for Leaders

Transcript

Sandra Morgan 0:14
You’re listening to the Ending Human Trafficking Podcast. This is episode #324: Role Models and Mentors, with Rachel Thomas. Welcome to the Ending Human Trafficking Podcast here at Vanguard University’s Global Center for Women and Justice in Orange County, California. My name is Dr. Sandie Morgan and this is the show where we empower you to study the issues, be a voice, and make a difference in ending human trafficking. I’m so happy to welcome back our good friend, Rachel Thomas.

Rachel Thomas 0:58
Hi Dr. Morgan, thank you so much for having me back. This is an honor and a pleasure, always.

Sandra Morgan 1:03
I just love having conversations with you, Rachel, I learn so much. You’re an amazing survivor, advocate, and educator. You’re serving your second term on the White House Advisory Council, you co-founded Sowers Education Group, you speak all over the country, and in fact, I’m really excited that you’re going to be our Amplify 2024 Keynote, to support the work of the Global Center. We’re really excited. You’ve been a frequent flyer on the Ending Human Trafficking Podcast. I’d like to recommend that people go back and listen to episode #196: Ending The Game, probably one of the best discussions on psychological coercion, and your episode #272 with The Cool Aunt Series. I’m happy to have you back, Rachel.

Rachel Thomas 2:08
Thank you, honored to be back, and glad that you’re still doing this important podcast. This is such a great resource and service to the community.

Sandra Morgan 2:17
I just love it. I got an invitation in the mail yesterday, an email, to go on a talk show in Dublin, Ireland.

Rachel Thomas 2:27
Wow.

Sandra Morgan 2:29
I just love how international our community is, and people care. Hopefully because of that, other people will get a chance to listen to our conversation today. We’re going to talk about the theme of Models, Role Models and Mentors for Black Youth. When I think about role models, when I was a young person, I wanted to be like my teacher, I wanted to be a professor. One of the people I wanted to be like, I had eye problems from the time I was very small I started wearing glasses, they looked like little baby lenses, so my optometrist, I was like, I want to grow up and be an optometrist. What were some of your role models?

Rachel Thomas 3:19
Oh, good question. My role models, I did have several teachers that I adored. My parents really were some of my main role models. I have family members, I’m from a family of entrepreneurs, so older cousins. I had some career role models, basically teachers, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. Then some some other types of role models for how to walk, how to dress, how to carry myself, how to show up in a room, and that was a lot from my mom and aunts, and family members.

Sandra Morgan 3:23
I think today’s youth have a lot of different kinds of role models, especially in that social space about how to dress and all of that. And from you, I’ve been learning that the role models in our hip hop culture, in rap culture, are really pretty different. So can you talk to us about some of the impact of role models on black youth?

Rachel Thomas 4:32
Sure. This is something I’ve always been aware of having taught high school, but now that my organization has a contract to work with foster youth directly, we’re two years in and we just got renewed for another two years so that’s a blessing.

Sandra Morgan 4:49
Yay!

Rachel Thomas 4:50
Yeah. We are tasked with reaching 50,000 California foster youth with the message of Human Trafficking Prevention, but we also are afforded the great, honestly it’s an honor and a privilege, to do mentorship. It’s not like a one time, teach them something and go, we are able to have ongoing relationships with these youth. I am intimately aware of a good handful of our foster youth and who really they are looking up to, who they are patterning their lifestyle and their goals after, and when it comes to our black youth. And I know this conversation is about black youth because I’m black and we do work with a lot of black youth, but really, hip hop is the most pervasive teenage youth genre, so it definitely goes beyond just black youth. It’s really all youth, different socioeconomic status, different regions, that’s just the number one genre of music that you’d like. I think when we’re talking about with black youth, it’s even more impactful, especially with our foster youth, because they may not have other role models that are playing a leading role. It’s the hip hop artists, it’s the rap artists, it’s the ones who have millions of followers and millions of dollars and fans, and all of the accolades and things that they would love to have. That’s who’s really leading them.

Sandra Morgan 6:32
You gave me a homework assignment before this episode, and I have a list of just female rappers, not even the whole. I went and looked at this, and it gave me a little more context for when I’m talking to students, when I’m talking to young people in some of our drop in centers that are more vulnerable and may have already been trafficked. They dress like what they see. What ways do these artists who are very successful, they are entrepreneurs, inspire or influence what our youth want to be, their aspirations?

Rachel Thomas 7:24
Sex. It’s all about hypersexuality, it’s all about using what you got to get what you want. It’s all about “I’m prettier than the next one,” “My body is nicer than yours,” “My body feels better in bed than yours,” and I’m saying it all very nicely.

Sandra Morgan 7:45
You’re translating for my audience and me.

Rachel Thomas 7:47
Right.

Sandra Morgan 7:48
Thank you.

Rachel Thomas 7:50
It’s all hypersexuality and the sense of, definitely competition and sexual prowess, and also, it’s just glorifying dysfunction on many levels, from dysfunctional interpersonal relationships. There’s a huge push on being the “baddest bitch” is a big term. In some ways it can be spun as empowerment, there’s a strength to it, there is some power in it, but it also verges on just glorifying not having friendships, and being able to be self sufficient, and not needing anyone. All of it is like if you have one traumatized youth, and they went down the path of what we would not want someone to do after they’ve been traumatized. If they didn’t go to therapy, and didn’t have healing, and didn’t have any resources, this is the music that they would create. They’ve taken being sexually abused and instead of looking at it as a trauma, they’ve looked at it as, “I’ve been put in this category, and I’ve learned the skills, and I’m going to be the best at it. Instead of it being done to me for free, now I’m going to make money out of it and be proud of it.” That’s one example, and for the most part, I think they really are rapping and talking about their actual held beliefs, but I think others, it’s because they’re in such that climate, and such sales that they’re not even like that in real life, but in order to be popular, that’s the lane for black female artists. You have to play that game and you have to lead with sexuality and just attitude.

Sandra Morgan 9:51
Wow. That kind of brings us back to the Ending the Game content that you’ve been so instrumental in. I think as I’ve watched how you have impacted the lives of young people, survivors from our program, not limited just to black youth and minor victims of trafficking, but adults as well, I’ve seen you use your real life, you’ve got grit. You can say the words that are really challenging for me to say, and I’m in shock, I don’t even know how to have a conversation, which I don’t need to because we’ve got you, and you have that conversation. How do you engage a young person who is modeling their life after these hip hop figures, and begin to impact them to make different choices?

Rachel Thomas 11:03
My approach, and mind you, I’m someone who, in my teen years, that was the music I liked also. In retrospect, I think that was a vulnerability into trafficking for me, that it desensitized pimping and actually glorified pimping. I didn’t look at it as a destructive, dangerous reality, it looked more like something cool that the women signed up for and the men were smooth. My approach is never to trash talk to artists that they like, because they’re people too. I think first is to just have a casual, curious conversation about why they like these artists. Sometimes it’s the beat, sometimes it’s the lyrics, the sound. They have that grit and empowerment to them, and if they feel powerless in certain areas, then they want to hear from someone who is just uber powerful, even if it’s talking about how sexual they are, or whatever. It starts with a curious, non- judgmental conversation, and then after some rapport is there, or when it’s not going to feel like an attack, then just talking about having more of a critical lens on some of the lyrics, some of the lifestyle. If it’s what they relate to, and it’s what makes sense to them, then accepting that and also just introducing other ways of thinking, introducing other alternatives for how to have success and respect, and feel powerful in life. I think so much of it is about walking the journey and it’s not just telling people that the path they’re on is wrong, that’s not helpful at all, you have to help them walk it, you have to help them actually see and believe that there’s a different alternative for their life. A lot of times for black youth, they have to see something else. Dr. Morgan, so you had mentioned your optometrist, and your teachers, people around you who have poured into your life that became your role models. A lot of our black foster youth they want to be social workers, they want to be foster parents, they want to be teachers, they want to be coaches, and that’s beautiful. It’s the exact same thought behind it, that some of them want to be the positive people that have poured into their life. But for those who don’t have that, or maybe they just have their eyes in a different direction, then they want to be the nearest rapper or rap artist, female, sometimes athletes. That’s their version of dreaming beyond a regular nine to five, if they want stardom, if they want something more than being a teacher or a social worker, then it’s “I’m going to be a rapper.”

Sandra Morgan 14:04
I’m listening to you and I don’t think I ever saw you, because I’ve known you as an advocate, you’d already finished your masters when we first met. I knew your story, but this idea that this genre of music was part of what made you a little more receptive to people reaching out to you and offering you opportunities that looked really amazing to a young college student, that part of your story helps me see where we might be able to be more intentional about mentoring. I’m curious how you have moved your advocacy into more mentoring. I know so many of the young people that you are mentoring, and I don’t know how you do it, because there are so many lives that you’re speaking into. Maybe tell me what it means to you to be a mentor for someone?

Rachel Thomas 15:20
I definitely have to give a shout out to the Cool Aunt Team, we have Teyanna. We have a team of Survivor Leaders who are also available for mentorship, and our lead youth mentor is Teyanna, and she is absolutely amazing. She’s now a wife and a mother, and an equestrian and just slaying all of her goals. But she was trafficked from the ages of 11 to 22. She went to prison for her trafficker for a while and has really just had a hard road, and has earned every bit of the wisdom and joy and resilience that she exudes. It’s not just me, we do have a team of seven mentors, actually. I think what that looks like is just being available. Some days we’re talking about their upcoming history test, some days we’re talking with them, crying about why their mother doesn’t want them or love them, or why they choose drugs over them. Letting the youth lead the conversation, and you know, having lessons prepared, so if they just show up and they don’t have anything to say, then we have plenty to talk about. But really, it’s being available. I think since I am blessed to have healthy, loving, involved parents, I just go off of that. If I fill in as a parent role for this kid, for this time that we have together, that’s all I’m doing. I’m listening, I’m being helpful, I’m providing resources, I am being empathetic, I’m giving advice when warranted, and when not, I’m doing it in a way that is palatable and not too judgmental. That’s really, that’s what it is, it’s what a parent would be doing, that these kids just don’t have access to that

Sandra Morgan 17:20
I’ve followed some of our foster youth and many times I get to kind of feel like I’m part of an extended family. One time, I started asking questions like, how do you define family? Because I began to see that they had skills for creating a community around them that was supportive, that resembles what you’re talking about with growing up with so much family support, like I had. I’m curious how you’ve experienced this informal family model?

Rachel Thomas 18:10
That was a lot of our reason for naming this work that we’re doing with youth, The Cool Aunt. That goes in line with the feeling of family, and I think for youth, especially our foster youth, they are starving for that. They want someone who sees them, who cares, and it’s really just been an honor and a blessing. They’ll say things like, “Wow, nobody’s just like sat with me before, and listened.” So many people in their lives are work and goal oriented, it’s, “I have to find your next placement, and get you enrolled in this, and do the tasks,” that sometimes they don’t have someone to just sit and talk about whatever they want to talk about. It’s not rocket science, it’s not something that is super strenuous for the mentor or for the adult, it’s really just availability and showing up. I tell everyone to become a mentor, there’s Big Brother, Big Sister, there’s so many different avenues to get involved. Creating an internship at your place of work and opening it up for foster youth to come shadow for maybe a day or something. It’s not hard work, but it’s life changing, important work. I just find that it’s something that youth are receptive to, and you don’t have to solve their problems, you don’t have to be a therapist, you don’t have to be someone that’s going to take them out of the system and save them at all, it’s really just showing up. You can’t be what you can’t see. If they don’t know of any kind, healed adults, then it’s not a great possibility that they’re going to turn into that. If they’ve never met an attorney, if they’ve never met a chef, if they’ve never met all of these other careers that they have not had interaction with at that point, then that’s not even something they know that is a possibility that they can aspire to be. Whether it’s different career choices, or characteristics, or any part of the identity that makes up a person, they have to be exposed to it in some intimate way for them to even put that in their realm of possibilities.

Sandra Morgan 20:35
Mentors help with creating dreams.

Rachel Thomas 20:37
Mm hmm.

Sandra Morgan 20:39
I think I’ve been listening to a podcast this week. Every time I get in my car, I turn on somebody’s podcast, and I was listening to a podcast about mentoring this week. I think I’ll put the link, it’s from Coaching for Leaders. One of the most important aspects that helped me was what you’ve been talking abou. It discriminated between mentoring and coaching. Coaching is telling you what to do, run to this bass, hold, watch for my signal, whatever. But mentoring doesn’t tell you what to do. It requires a lot of listening, and I think it’s hard for us to create formal mentoring paths. Being organic is part of this concept of a community that’s a family. I have people around the world who call me aunt or auntie or auntie, depends on what part of the world they’re from, and I feel that sense of family. That is this informal opportunity to mentor, but I don’t require them to fill out reports or any of that. I do think, though, that some elements of being a mentor, and I’m curious if you agree, do require availability and continuity to communication? How do you foster that with the Cool Aunt series.

Rachel Thomas 22:25
Of course, that’s ideal. Going back to that idea of a parent, that’s someone for life. We aim for weekly check ins, and the kids, they have our number, so they can text us if they need to outside of our weekly scheduled check ins. The the more time, and the more consistency you can provide, the better. But just setting those expectations in the beginning, if you’re not able to, if it’s like, “You will be on my heart, and on my mind right now, with our schedule, we may check in with you every other week or even just once a month. But if something happens, something comes up, you can text us, you can look forward to telling us about it the next time we talk.” Just setting expectations and letting them know that even when you’re not available, it’s not because you don’t care, or you’re not thinking of them, it’s, “I’m human, and I have a schedule.” We’ve gone about that in different ways and some youth, there’s seasons where they want to talk more often because they’re going through something heavy, and then it’ll be less frequent, which is a good thing too. They’re more stable at that point. It’s all just individuals, looking at each person as an individual, and just catering to what’s in front of you on that day, with that person, and what they need in a mentor.

As we look at the future of mentoring our youth and the resources with the Cool Aunt series, which I absolutely love, we have it in our child welfare program here in Orange County. How do you advise people who want to become involved to be mentors, to develop their skills? Can they go to your website? What what would be the best way for them to on ramp to become a mentor?

I love that. Well, we only hire survivor leaders as mentors and we are a tiny drop in the bucket. I would recommend getting involved with a local organization like Big Brother, Big Sister, just going through the website for your local child welfare, they are probably begging for mentors and foster youth. Find what is in your community locally, because I guarantee there are children in your community that don’t have available, healthy, loving parents, and they would love to have a mentor. Whether it’s through Boys and Girls Club, the YMCA, creating an internship, and just calling a local youth club or DCFS and saying,” Hey, we’re open to this internship opportunity…” There’s so many ways to create inroads there.

Sandra Morgan 25:26
I love how you always are so good at sharing with other organizations, not always just with one, meaning yours. Before we wind up here, though, how do people find you on the internet, and your program?

Rachel Thomas 25:46
The Cool Aunt Series is thecoolauntseries.com, and my personal website is rachelcthomas.com.

Sandra Morgan 25:58
Okay, so people can find you. And last, do you have a final thought, or message that you want people to leave with today?

Rachel Thomas 26:12
I do. I think that, to whom much is given, much is required. I believe that more adults need to be involved with, in some level, doing more for our disadvantaged youth. I had no interaction with the child welfare system, it was so far and foreign to me. I could not imagine that there are kids who are being raised by people who are on a paycheck, and they’re bounced around from home to home, and they’ve never had any adult pour into them. It was a problem I didn’t need to deal with and I would say just wasn’t part of my reality. I think if every healthy, well meaning adult would just take on one child, I think our world would change dramatically. That is the call to action, is to become a mentor. Even just mentoring one youth will make a huge difference.

Sandra Morgan 27:14
That’s my take away, just one. All right Rachel, we love you, we want to keep on having great conversations, and I’m excited that you’re coming to join us for Amplify in September.

Rachel Thomas 27:31
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, excited.

Sandra Morgan 27:35
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