Playing the victim. It hurts when you're hurt, but being a victim hurts even more

Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab

Today's discussion is going to delve into a tough topic, but it's crucial for understanding. I've personally experienced hurt from my partner, and I yearn for them to acknowledge my pain, apologize, and grasp the impact of their actions. This sentiment resonates widely, whether in ongoing relationships or after a breakup.

When we've been criticized, lied to, manipulated, or betrayed, it cuts deep, leaving us in agony. We seek validation, yearning for our suffering to be seen and recognized. This craving for acknowledgment stems from pouring our heart and soul into the relationship, only to be knocked down.

But here's the kicker: by fixating on our partner's validation, we inadvertently diminish our own pain. We grant them power over our emotions, waiting for an apology to affirm our suffering's validity. However, our pain is inherently valid, irrespective of external validation.

In relationships with narcissistic traits, awaiting apologies can be futile. These individuals struggle to empathize and may never acknowledge our pain. Even if they apologize, the sincerity is questionable. So, while momentary validation might soothe, it's fleeting.

Instead of clinging to external validation, we must validate our own emotions. By recognizing our pain's validity, we empower ourselves, paving the way for clearer relationship dynamics. Through honest communication and mutual understanding, we can address grievances and seek workable solutions.

Creating a safe space for dialogue allows both partners to express their perspectives without blame. Focusing on actions rather than labeling individuals fosters understanding and facilitates constructive resolutions. Ultimately, validating our own suffering enables us to set boundaries and navigate relationships with clarity and self-respect.

Support the show

Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[e-mail]