385. Oliver Burkeman On Embracing Your Limitations Psychologists Off The Clock podcast

57:28

Success isn’t just about how hard you work. It’s also about who’s advocating for you even when you’re not in the room. In this episode, Debbie talks with Rosalind Chow , an associate professor at Carnegie Mellon University, about her new book, The Doors You Can Open A New Way to Network, Build Trust, and Use Your Influence to Create a More Inclusive Workplace . They get into the real difference between mentorship and sponsorship, why both matter, and how having the right sponsor can completely change the game for your career. Rosalind shares her perspective on the challenges of systemic racism and inclusion and how being intentional about sponsorship can actually create real opportunities for people who need them. Concluding the interview, Debbie and Yael give their take on what it means to build relationships that open doors, not just for ourselves but for others, too. Listen and Learn: When systemic solutions fade, what can individuals do? How sponsorship, not mentorship, breaks barriers for marginalized professionals How power dynamics in mentorship can shape careers and why sponsorship may be the real key to success Rethinking networking and how shifting from power moves to collective problem-solving can build real influence Sponsorship vs. mentorship: why trust flows differently, and why sponsors take the biggest career risks Can sponsorship fight bias, or does it reinforce it? How Kristin became the unlikely leader of a program for Black professionals and won over skeptics How sponsoring a colleague led Kristin to a Harvard Business Review article and a career boost Resources: Rosalind’s website: https://www.rosalindchow.com/ The Doors You Can Open: A New Way to Network, Build Trust, and Use Your Influence to Create a More Inclusive Workplace: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781541702752 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rosalind-chow-6b25541b0/ About Rosalind Chow Rosalind Chow is an Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior and Theory at Carnegie Mellon University, where she studies the power of social hierarchy and its impact on diversity and inclusion efforts within organizations. She uses her research expertise to direct executive leadership programs aimed at accelerating participants' careers, with a particular focus on the advancement of women and members of marginalized groups. Her forthcoming book, The Doors You Can Open (PublicAffairs, April 8, 2025), introduces the concept of sponsorship as a way we can use our social connections to change the relationships we have with other people and the relationships that other people have with one another in the service of creating greater communal good. Related Episodes: 299. Leadership and the Changing Workplace with Chris Shipley 290. Shared Sisterhood: Collective Action for Racial and Gender Equity at Work with Tina Opie and Beth Livingston 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith 389. Generational Differences in the Workplace with Michelle Quist Ryder 357. Is Your Work Worth It? How to Think About Meaningful Work with Jennifer Tosti-Kharas and Christopher Wong Michaelson 347. Job Changes & Career Pivots with Paula Brand 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren 107. Playing Big with Tara Mohr Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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400. Behind the Scenes with Us 58:00

13 days ago58:00

58:00

Off-the-clockers, it's time to celebrate because Psychologists Off The Clock just hit 400 episodes! 🎉 For this special milestone episode, the cohosts wanted to pull back the curtain on the podcast: why we do it, how it’s changed our lives, behind-the-scenes blunders, keeping the podcast financially afloat, and the incredible friendships we’ve built along the way. You all sent in questions for the team, and we’re answering them! Wondering how we choose guests or which co-host gets to interview which guest? We’re revealing it all. And as an extra treat, our podcast production manager, Jai, will be joining us to chat about editing, hilarious bloopers, memorable lessons and episodes, and give you a peek at what really happens in post-production. And to close out the episode, we’re giving a huge shoutout to some of our amazing Patreon supporters who are helping us deliver the podcast ad-free and making it possible for us to continue bringing you great science-backed psychology content! So please grab your favorite drink, hit play, and come celebrate with us! Resources: Cohost Books: ACT Daily Journal by Debbie Sorensen: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781684037377 Autonomy-Supportive Parenting by Emily Edlynn: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781641709767 In Your Feels by Emily Edlynn: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781950785933 Imposter No More by Jill Stoddard: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781538724798 ACT for Burnout by Debbie Sorensen: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781839975370 Join our Patreon and enjoy our episode ad-free: https://www.patreon.com/offtheclockpsych POTC episodes referenced in this episode: 368. Get Better at Anything with Scott Young 315. Hot & Bothered: Menopause with Jancee Dunn 176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky 382. The Anxious Generation? The Conversation We Should Be Having About Kids, Technology, and Mental Health 393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg 348. Sustainable Exercise with Michelle Segar 396. Public Speaking and TED Talks with Alina Nikolaou Join our community on social media: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/offtheclockpsych/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/offtheclockpsych Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/offtheclockpsych/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PsychologistsOfftheClock Get in contact with our Podcast Production Manager, Jai: jswpodcastassistant.com Related Episodes: 1. Taking a Leap Into Something Meaningful 100. Celebrating 100 Episodes 300. Celebrating 300 Episodes with Us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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399. Likable Badass with Alison Fragale 56:00

20 days ago56:00

56:00

Balancing warmth with assertiveness can feel like an impossible juggling act—too soft, and you're overlooked; too strong, and you're “too much.” Alison Fragale's book, Likable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve , offers practical, research-backed strategies to help women excel at work and in life. In this episode, you'll get to understand the science of power and status, self-promotion without the cringe, and overcoming gender biases with authenticity and confidence. We also include real-world challenges, making this discussion both insightful and refreshingly relatable. Listen and Learn: How power controls resources, but status shapes influence and why respect is the key to real authority How women can play smart within unfair rules to spark real change The science behind being a likable badass Navigating the balance between assertiveness and warmth and finding your authentic style Overcoming biases in social and professional settings How to confidently share your wins without feeling boastful, while staying warm and relatable Resources: Alison’s Book: Likable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve Alison’s Website: alisonfragale.com Connect with Alison on: LinkedIn Instagram TikTok Alison’s Substack: The Upper Hand with Alison Fragale Alison’s Media Page: https://alisonfragale.com/media-research/ Alison’s Hidden Brain episode: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/how-to-win-people-over/ My WorkLife with Adam Grant episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-secret-to-success-isnt-power-its-status/id1346314086?i=1000668204498 About Alison Fragale Alison Fragale is the Mary Farley Ames Lee Distinguished Scholar of Organizational Behavior at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Kenan-Flagler Business School. As a research psychologist, award-winning professor, international keynote speaker, and author, she is on a mission to help others — especially women — use behavioral science to work and live better. Her scholarship has been published in the most prestigious academic journals in her field and featured in prominent media outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Financial Times, Boston Globe, and Inc. Alison is the author of the national bestseller, LIKEABLE BADASS: How Women Get the Success They Deserve. She lives in Chicago with her husband and three children, who are all named after professional athletes. Related Episodes 49. Empowering Women with Robyn Walser 107. Playing Big with Tara Mohr 121. Be Mighty: An Episode for Stressed Out, Worried Women with Jill Stoddard 163. The Likeability Trap with Alicia Menendez 176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith 290. Shared Sisterhood: Collective Action for Racial and Gender Equity at Work with Tina Opie and Beth Livingston 321. Imposter No More with Jill Stoddard Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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398. Finding Joy in Your Relationship with Money with Elizabeth Husserl 1:04:05

27 days ago1:04:05

1:04:05

Money impacts us all, whether it brings joy, stress, or confusion. Chatting with Elizabeth Husserl , author of The Power of Enough and a financial advisor with a background in economics, spirituality, and psychology, we hear about finding joy in our relationship with money. You'll learn about breaking free from the abundance-scarcity cycle and gain practical tools like the wealth mandala to help reshape your money mindset. Elizabeth also teaches us how open communication can create healthier financial dynamics in families. Tune in for a fresh perspective on money as a tool for fulfillment and well-being! Listen and Learn: Redefining money as a social technology to change our relationship with wealth and well-being How our relationship with money shapes our sense of wealth—and why capitalism gets it so wrong How our bodies are wired for constant seeking, the tension of abundance vs. scarcity, and the shift to true fulfillment Are you unknowingly using money to avoid deeper needs? Breaking free from a scarcity mindset and finding the balance between spending, saving, and true fulfillment How to find true satisfaction with money by discovering what truly nourishes your life Ways to manage money intentionally by aligning resources with your most important needs Breaking the taboo around money to transform your relationship to wealth and well-being Resources: ● Books: The Power of Enough: Finding Joy in Your Relationship with Money: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781608689422 ● Elizabeth's Website: http://www.elizabethhusserl.com ● Connect with Elizabeth on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethhusserl ● Connect with Elizabeth on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elizabethhusserl/ About Elizabeth Husserl Elizabeth Husserl is a registered investment advisor representative, financial advisor, highly sought-after speaker, and cofounder of Peak360 Wealth Management, a boutique wealth planning firm. She does nonprofit work throughout the Americas and has led workshops at major tech companies, including Airbnb, Unity, and Google. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and daughter. Related Episodes: 365. Tightwads and Spendthrifts with Scott Rick 357. Is Your Work Worth It? How to Think About Meaningful Work with Jennifer Tosti-Kharas and Christopher Wong Michaelson 296. Money and Love with Abby Davisson 217. Redefining Rick with Shannon Hayes 182. Do More with Less: How to Stretch in Work and Life with Scott Sonenshein Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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397. The Mindful Path to Intimacy with James Cordova 1:09:20

5 weeks ago1:09:20

1:09:20

What is the recipe for developing deeper, more intimate relationships? Breaking this all down in his new book, The Mindful Path to Intimacy , is couples therapist Dr. James Cordova , who talks to Yael about how true intimacy happens when vulnerability is met with warmth and acceptance and feeling safe being your real self with someone. You’ll hear some eye-opening research, including his “relationship checkup” method and how marriage therapy has evolved to focus on both behavior and acceptance. If you are looking for ways to strengthen your relationship emotionally and physically—such as staying mindful, paying attention to one another, sexual intimacy, and making check-ins a regular habit—James has some extremely practical suggestions for you! Listen and Learn: The true meaning of intimacy Balancing change and acceptance in relationships How can we stay open and kind when we hear something we don’t want to? How mindfulness can transform intimacy The power of vulnerability and compassion in the face of conflict and how understanding your partner leads to a deeper connection Why our ancient instincts for self-protection clash with modern relationship needs How relational flexibility can transform your relationships How do daily hurts and unaddressed issues lead to distance in your relationship? The role "marital checkups" play in keeping intimacy alive and preventing relationship drift Why is sexual intimacy such a vulnerability trigger in relationships, and how can you address it? Using the "stop, drop, and roll" practice to stay open and connected Resources: ● Books: The Mindful Path to Intimacy by James Cordova Reconcilable Differences by Neil Jacobson, Andrew Christensen, and Brian Doss ● More About James: https://www.clarku.edu/faculty/profiles/james-cordova/ ● Connect with James on Social Media LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-cordova-1b803316a Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJamesCordova/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesvcordova/ About James Cordova: Dr. James Córdova is a professor at Clark University and a practicing couples therapist. Dr. Córdova’s work strives to better understand the processes that affect marital/couples health and deterioration, particularly those processes that promote greater relationship, mental and physical health. His work helps to build empirically testable approaches to therapy that foster intimacy, acceptance, and motivation for adopting healthy relational practices. Dr. Córdova’s current projects include (1) the Relationship Checkup, a relationship health checkup designed to help partners maintain healthy relationships for a lifetime, (2) observing the process of intimacy development in couples’ interactions, and (3) studying the role of emotional skillfulness in relationship health. He has a few terrific books including The Story of Mu, The Marital Check-Up , and his brand new book, The Mindful Path to Intimacy: Cultivating a Deeper Connection with Your Partner . Related Episodes: 61. Becoming Our Best Relationship Selves By Identifying Core Values and Schemas with Avigail Lev 92. Marriage in Midlife: The Rough Patch with Daphne de Marneffe 179. How to Be an Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo 248. Let’s Talk about Sex & Intimacy with Zoe Kors Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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396. Public Speaking and TED Talks with Alina Nikolaou 1:02:33

6 weeks ago1:02:33

1:02:33

Ever wondered what it takes to bring a TED talk to life? In this episode, Michael Herold has a conversation with Dr. Alina Nikolaou , a passionate TED event curator, who shares her insights about the exciting world of organizing TED and TEDx events. They discuss the process of selecting speakers, the power of storytelling, and how to balance entertainment with information. Dr. Nikolaou offers valuable tips on public speaking, preparation rituals, and the experience of participating in TEDx. You’ll also pick up tips on how to pitch a TEDx talk and ways to stay engaged with the TED community. Listen and Learn: The difference between TED and TEDx, and how these talks are bringing global ideas to local stages across the world What it is really like to attend or organize a TEDx event—on stage, behind the scenes, and beyond How are TEDx speakers chosen, coached, and prepared to deliver talks that leave a lasting impact? How TEDx organizers curate the perfect lineup and ensure each talk flows Even the weirdest ideas have a place at TEDx—how organizers craft the perfect lineup of talks What happens behind the curtain before a TEDx talk? How can speakers avoid awkwardness when transitioning from rehearsal to the stage? What’s the secret to delivering a talk naturally—without memorizing every word like a script? How to enliven a slide deck to captivate any audience Tips for landing a TEDx talk Resources: TEDAI Vienna TED.com TEDx.com Alina on LinkedIn TEDAI on LinkedIn Alina’s Website Jill’s TEDx talk Michael’s TEDx talk Ted Talks The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking About Dr. Alina Nikolaou Dr. Alina Nikolaou is Director and Curator of TEDAI Vienna, the first TED event in Europe dedicated to groundbreaking ideas on Artificial Intelligence. Born to Greek and Austrian parents, Alina grew up during the financial crisis in Athens, Greece. After school, she moved to Vienna, Austria to graduate with degrees in Communication Science and Political Science. After a short and rather disenchanting journey into the world of advertising, Alina returned to academia for her doctoral research where she explored how Virtual Reality can affect how we think and behave toward complex sociopolitical issues. Her co-authored study about the influence of deepfakes on media trust and credibility won the award for Best Student Paper at the annual conference of the International Communication Science Association in 2023. Alina has held several courses at the University of Vienna, ranging from empirical research methods in the Social Sciences to Media History. In October 2023 she presented her research at AWE EU , the leading industry conference on mixed reality. Constantly fascinated with the hypes, hopes and fears that surround new technologies, Alina has been a Curator at TEDxVienna since 2019. There she specialises on interdisciplinary ideas about tech, philosophy and power, and brings them to life in the form of TEDx Talks. To deal with how miraculous and ridiculous the world is she constantly experiments with different artforms: A regular on Vienna’s storytelling stages, Alina is known for her criticisms on capitalism, her borderline anarchist stance and her absurdist humor. Her most recent appearance was at the Rote Bar at Volkstheater, Vienna. Alina is also the creator of the (so far unsuccessful) dadaist Bring Back Boredom movement and the far more successful event format “Poetry Society Vienna”. Alina holds a Bakk.phil, MSc and Dr.phil. in Communication Science as well as a BA in Political Science from the University of Vienna, Austria. Related Episodes 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson 188. Unwinding Anxiety with Judson Brewer 239. Edit Your Story, Change Your Life with Lori Gottlieb 294. Yes And: Improv in Psychology with Kelly Leonard Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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395. Neurodivergence with Jennifer Kemp 1:01:11

7 weeks ago1:01:11

1:01:11

Being neurodivergent isn’t a flaw or a superpower—it’s just a different way of experiencing the world. To discuss the topic of neurodivergence, Debbie is joined by clinical psychologist Jennifer Kemp to talk about her new workbook, The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate , created specifically for autistic people and ADHDers. They explore themes from Jennifer’s book like what it means to receive a late diagnosis, why neurodiversity-affirming practices matter, and the real challenges (and stigma) that come with being neurodivergent. Plus, you’ll pick up insight into the power of self-compassion and why it’s essential for thriving in life—not just surviving. Join us for this meaningful discussion on how understanding and accommodating neurodivergent behaviors can make a world of difference, whether in the workplace, relationships, or everyday life. Listen and Learn: How does embracing neurodivergence without over-simplifying the "superpower" narrative lead to healing? Crafting a neurodiversity-affirming workbook to help autistic and ADHD individuals thrive How code-switching, masking, and societal expectations fuel burnout Masking, eye contact struggles, and mental burnout in neurodivergence Why self-compassion and creative self-care are essential tools for navigating burnout, anxiety, and social overwhelm Practical tips for setting boundaries, asking for accommodations, and embracing self-compassion What changes could make life easier for autistic kids and how parents can break stigma Resources: ● Books: The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate. How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing Unmasking Autism: The Power of Embracing Our Hidden Neurodiversity ● Website: https://jenniferkemp.com.au/ ● Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-kemp-b6148b ● Connect on X: https://www.twitter.com/jenniferkemp2 ● Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Adelaide-Behaviour-Therapy-267123166960864 ● Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennifer.kemp.psych About Jennifer Kemp BSc(Psych)Hons, MPsych(Clinical), GradDipApplSc(Psychology of Coaching) Adjunct lecturer, University of Adelaide Jennifer Kemp is a privately practicing Clinical Psychologist based in Adelaide. Using a neurodiversity-affirming approach, Jennifer weaves together acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), behavioral and compassion-focused approaches with her own lived experience of neurodivergence to help her clients improve their mental health and develop greater self-compassion, self-acceptance, and pride in their neurodivergent identity. Jennifer is the co-author of “The Neurodivergent Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate” and author of “The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism: Build Your Best (Imperfect) Life Using Powerful Acceptance & Commitment Therapy and Self-Compassion Skills.” Related Episodes: 226. ACT for Perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp 367. ADHD in Adulthood with Michaela Thomas 344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber 187. Raising a Child with ADHD, with Russell Barkley 358. How to Keep House While Drowning with KC Davis https://offtheclockpsych.com/230-the-laziness-lie/ 91. Disability as a Form of Diversity with Erin Andrews 256. Social Justice Parenting with Traci Baxley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber 1:12:59

8 weeks ago1:12:59

1:12:59

Some of the worst kinds of abuse happen right in front of us—often hidden behind love, care, and even medicine. In this episode, Jill sits down with returning guest Andrea Dunlop and her co-author and colleague Mike Weber to talk about their book, The Mother Next Door: Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy . Munchausen by Proxy (MBP) is a disturbing form of medical child abuse, which we have covered on the podcast before , where a caregiver—usually a mother—makes a child sick or pretends they are, all for attention and sympathy. Andrea, a podcast host and expert on MBP, and Mike, a seasoned law enforcement officer with years of experience in child abuse cases, highlighted what they’ve learned from investigating these heartbreaking stories. They explain why these cases are so hard to catch, the legal system’s challenges in prosecuting perpetrators, and the chilling similarities between MBP and child sexual abuse. And make sure to stick around until the end of the episode, where Jill and Emily wrap up with a debrief about the emotional toll of confronting such tough realities. Listen and Learn: The shocking truth of Munchausen by Proxy and its hidden dynamics The similarities between Munchausen by Proxy and child sexual abuse and the deep manipulation at play How skilled manipulators exploit medical systems and doctors' blind spots to hide abuse. Why even law enforcement, judges, and doctors might fail to recognize this devastating abuse Why are false accusations often believed more than the reality of underreported child abuse cases? Why is it so hard to accept that abuse can happen in 'good' families, and how can we spot it? How Andrea and Mike keep fighting when the system fails abused children Resources: Book: The Mother Next Door: Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy Andrea’s Podcast: https://www.nobodyshouldbelieveme.com/ Andrea’s Website: https://www.andreadunlop.net/ Connect with Andrea on Social Media: IG: https://www.instagram.com/andreadunlop/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@andrea.dunlop?lang=en Mike’s Website: https://www.mikeweberconsulting.com/ About Andrea Dunlop Andrea Dunlop is the author of four novels, including She Regrets Nothing and Women Are the Fiercest Creatures , and the host and creator of Nobody Should Believe Me , an award-winning investigative true crime podcast about Munchausen by proxy. Andrea is the founder of Munchausen Support, the nation’s only non-profit dedicated to supporting survivors and families affected by MBP, and a member of the American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children’s MBP committee, where she serves alongside the country’s foremost experts. She lives in Seattle with her husband and two children. About Mike Weber Mike Weber has forty years of law enforcement experience, including fifteen years as a crimes against children investigator. Detective Weber has consulted with numerous police agencies and district attorney’s offices nationally on cases of medical child abuse, and was awarded the 2016 NCMEC Texas Hero for Children Award. He currently lives and works in Fort Worth. Related Episodes 19. Keeping Children Safe from Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower 84. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 308. Identifying and Surviving Gaslighting with Robin Stern 314. Munchausen by Proxy with Andrea Dunlop and Marc Feldman 320. Anger and Forgiveness with Robyn Walser Bonus Episode: Nobody Should Believe Me with Andrea Dunlop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg 56:51

9 weeks ago56:51

56:51

Ever had a conversation that just clicked—where you felt truly heard and understood? What if you could create that kind of connection more often? Best-selling author Charles Duhigg joins Debbie in a conversation about his latest book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection . Discover the psychology of great conversations, the power of reciprocal vulnerability, and easy strategies for handling difficult conversations without losing control as we break down what makes some people exceptional communicators and how we can all cultivate those abilities in our daily lives. Whether your goal is to improve your listening skills, build stronger relationships, or simply feel more comfortable in social settings, this episode is full of ideas to help you connect more deeply. Listen and Learn: How "Supercommunicators" master connection The recipe for instant connection and how small shifts in communication can turn strangers into friends The Matching Principle and how syncing conversation types can help strengthen your relationships and connections Why mastering communication is key to lifelong well-being and how stronger connections can lead you to lasting happiness. How you can use the "matching principle" with your own partner to create deeper, more connected conversations Tips for asking deep questions to help you connect more meaningfully and move beyond small talk Shifting control in conflicts to create teamwork and healthier relationships How quiet negotiations can transform tougher conversations into mutual understanding Resources: Charles’ Website: https://www.charlesduhigg.com/ Charles’ Book: Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection Connect with Charles on Socials: https://twitter.com/cduhigg https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesduhigg/ https://www.instagram.com/charlesduhigg/ https://www.facebook.com/charlesduhigg Yael’s Washington Post article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/04/19/couples-conversation-communications-understanding-problem-solving/ About Charles Duhigg A graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School, Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist and the author of The Power of Habit, which spent over three years on bestseller lists and has been translated into 40 languages, Supercommunicators , also a bestseller published in 2024, and Smarter Faster Better, a third bestseller. Mr. Duhigg writes for The New Yorker magazine and previously wrote for The New York Times . Charles led the New York Times team that won the 2013 Pulitzer prize in explanatory journalism for “The iEconomy,” a series that examined the global economy through the lens of Apple. That series included examinations of such topics as the factories in China where iPhones and iPads are manufactured. Charles has also received The George Polk award, the Gerald Loeb award, the Investigative Reporters and Editors Medal, the Scripps Howard National Journalism award, the Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award, and other honors. While a reporter at the Los Angeles Times, Charles reported from Iraq about American military operations. Today, Charles writes for The New Yorker magazine. Before becoming a full-time journalist in 2003, Charles worked as an analyst for American Property Global Partners, a private equity firm and co-founded SWPA Education Management Group, L.L.C., which developed education programs for medically underserved areas. He was also, for one terrifying day in 1999, a bike messenger in San Francisco. He lives in California with his wife and two children. Related Episodes: 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas 360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson 353. Ask Great Questions with Jeff Wetzler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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392. Outraged with Kurt Gray 58:00

10 weeks ago58:00

58:00

Tired of all the fighting over politics and morality? For this episode, we’re tackling moral outrage with Kurt Gray , a psychology professor and author of Outraged: Why We Fight about Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground . You’ll learn why we get so caught up in right vs. wrong, how to better understand what’s driving people’s fears and motivations, and how to connect—even when you don’t agree. Plus, you’ll get practical tips to manage your own outrage and have more empathetic conversations. Listen and Learn: The surprising key to bridging divides in relationships, even amidst deep moral disagreements How morality evolved to balance selfish instincts with the need for cooperation in groups How morality’s protective instincts can backfire, dividing us in groups and personal relationships Do cultural norms and deeper perceptions of harm shape our moral judgments and conflicts? Why does understanding the "other side" feel like betrayal—and what happens when both sides feel victimized? How moral typecasting shapes our views, seeing ourselves as victims and others as villains The complexity of human behavior and how even the most "evil" figures can have a backstory. How motivated reasoning can shape our political views and blur our judgment in conflict Embracing vulnerability and asking deeper questions to transform tough conversations Resources: ● Books: Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground Doppelganger by Naomi Klein The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein Article: Should an affair be disclosed? by Yael ● Website: https://www.kurtjgray.com/ ● Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kurtjgray/ ● Connect on X: https://x.com/kurtjgray ● Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kurtjgray ● Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kurtjgray/ About Kurt Gray Kurt Gray is a Professor in Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where he directs the Deepest Beliefs Lab and the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. And is the author of Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground . Related Episodes: 51. The Psychology of Political Division with Yael and Debbie 263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 362. Adult Bullies and High Conflict People with Bill Eddy 371. Uniting Toward a Better Future with Diana McLain Smith Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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391. Perfect Is Boring (And It Tastes Like Kale) with Jess Johnston 58:27

11 weeks ago58:27

58:27

What if the very thing keeping you from deep, meaningful friendships is the fear of being your true, imperfect self? This week Michael sits down with Jess Johnston for a chat about authenticity, friendship, and overcoming the fear of rejection. They dive into themes for her book, Perfect Is Boring (and It Tastes Like Kale): Finding Belonging and Purpose Without Changing Who You Are , which offers a refreshing take on embracing who you are while finding your place in the world. Together, they explore the ups and downs of adult friendships, including letting down your guard to create real bonds. Jess’s relatable stories and practical tips make it easy to see how consistency, courage, and even a little awkwardness can lead to meaningful relationships. If you’ve ever felt like perfection gets in the way of connection, this conversation is perfect for you. Listen and Learn: Jess’ off-grid childhood that sparked her love for writing and how those experiences shaped her perspective on connection The tension between performance and authenticity in your friendships and the courage to be rea What are the profound differences between belonging and fitting in? What does it really mean to be authentic? Awkward moments forge deeper connections—why embracing imperfection matters in your relationships and life The surprising power of intentionality and courage in building your adult friendships Why the fear of rejection is key to building meaningful friendships Resources: Book: Perfect Is Boring (and It Tastes Like Kale): Finding Belonging and Purpose Without Changing Who You Are : https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593728246 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessmariejohnston/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessjohnstonwonderoak/ Website: https://wonderoak.com/ About Jess Johnston Jess Johnston lives in Southern California with her husband and four kids, who are the loves of her life. She is an Enneagram Seven and is enthusiastic about everything—but especially people, travel, and sauces. Jess’s writing makes you feel like you’re sitting cross-legged on her couch in your cozy pants while sharing hearts and drinking coffee. She is the co-author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) and has been a top contributor to publications such as HuffPost, Scary Mommy, and Motherly. Related Episodes 385. Oliver Burkeman on Embracing Your Limitations 360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson 374. Developing and Deepening Connections with Adam Dorsay 271. Cultivating Friendships in Adulthood Featuring Adam Dorsay Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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390. Raising Empowered Girls in a Sexist World with Jo-Ann Finkelstein 1:01:48

12 weeks ago1:01:48

1:01:48

Raising strong, confident girls in today’s world isn’t always easy, and this episode is here to help. Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein chats with Dr. Emily Edlynn about her book, Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World , and dives into how we can support girls as they face things like cultural pressures, objectification, and the subtle sexism that still lingers. They share real, practical tips on helping girls think critically, find their voices, and navigate the media they’re exposed to. If you’re a parent, caregiver, or just someone who wants to make a positive difference, this conversation is full of valuable insights you won’t want to miss. Listen and Learn: Exploring the inspiration behind Sexism and Sensibility How societal norms shape women's voices and learn how Jo-Ann’s book helps shift the narrative Progress and pitfalls: The dualities of feminism and girls' empowerment in modern culture How beauty culture, Eurocentric ideals, and self-objectification steal women’s power and potential A parental guide to empowering your kids to combat self-objectification The social dynamics that shape girls' voices and confidence, and why it's crucial for parents to intervene How can fathers empower their daughters to speak up while protecting them from societal biases? Resources: Book: Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World : https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593581162 Website: https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/ Substack: https://joannfinkelstein.substack.com/ Connect on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@joannfinkelstein.phd Connect on X: https://x.com/finkeljo?lang=en Connect on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/100086974203277/ Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannfinkelstein.phd/ About Jo-Ann Finkelstein: Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD , is a clinical psychologist and the author of Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World. She was educated at Harvard University and Northwestern University and now maintains a private clinical practice. An expert blogger for Psychology Today, her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Harvard Business Review, Oprah Daily, and CNN, among others. Her writing has appeared in The Washington Post, Ms., Your Teen, and other publications. Dr. Finkelstein serves on the Advisory Board for Stop Sexual Assault in Schools. She lives in Chicago, Illinois. Related Episodes: 381. Reimagining Boyhood with Ruth Whippman 369. Good News About Adolescence with Ellen Galinsky 337. Puberty Is Awkward with Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett 332. Middle School Superpowers with Phyllis Fagell 317. Growing Up in Public with Devorah Heitner 290. Shared Sisterhood: Collective Action for Racial and Gender Equity at Work with Tina Opie and Beth Livingston Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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389. Generational Differences in the Workplace with Michelle Quist Ryder 1:01:38

13 weeks ago1:01:38

1:01:38

Ever feel like your workplace is a mix of different worlds, with each generation bringing its own style, perspective, and expectations? For our second episode of the year, Dr. Michelle Quist Ryder , CEO of the American Psychological Foundation, joins us to talk about how Baby Boomers to Gen Z can navigate work together. From remote work shifts to work-life balance expectations, you’ll come away with new knowledge on supporting each other across generations and creating healthier, more productive workplaces. If bridging generational gaps feels tricky, this episode offers practical tips to make it easier. Listen and Learn: Why generational gaps in values and tech create workplace challenges Understanding generational anxiety and why adapting workplace culture unlocks success for everyone Are return-to-office mandates sparking workplace crises, and how can companies adapt post-pandemic? How self-determination theory can unlock happier workplaces and fix toxic job cultures Can bridging generational differences in work values create healthier, more adaptable workplaces? Does turning your passion into a career kill your creativity, and how can you avoid that trap? Resources: ● Website: https://ampsychfdn.org/about/apf-team/ ● Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-quist-ryder ● Connect on X: https://twitter.com/mquistryder About Michelle Quist Ryder Dr. Michelle Quist Ryder is a social psychologist, research professional, and the CEO of the American Psychological Foundation, an organization that leverages the power of philanthropy to invest in research and advance psychological knowledge. Dr. Quist Ryder has an extensive background in human-centric organizational design, effective DEI practices, and leveraging psychology to solve critical societal issues. Related Episodes: 176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky 206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky 274. Quarterlife 299. Leadership and the Changing Workplace with Chris Shipley 303. Both/And Thinking with Marianne Lewis 333. How Work Works with Michelle P. King 347. Job Changes & Career Pivots with Paula Brand 352.Twentysomethings with Meg Jay 338. ACT for Burnout 357. Is Your Work Worth It? How to Think About Meaningful Work with Jennifer Tosti-Kharas and Christopher Wong Michaelson 374. Developing and Deepening Connections with Adam Dorsay Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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388. Decision-Making in 2025 and Surprises! 56:47

14 weeks ago56:47

56:47

Kick off the New Year with us in this special cohosted POTC episode! We've got a MAJOR announcement for 2025, and we're also chatting about the ups and downs of decision-making—all backed by psychology. We're also reflecting on our 2024 highlights, sharing what we're all hoping for in the new year, and talking about how community, flexibility, and staying true to your values play into making some of life’s tough choices. Plus, we’re giving you a sneak peek at what’s coming up on the podcast this year, including some awesome insights on relationship science and our personal goals for the future. Our exciting POTC New Year announcement Decision-making and understanding psychological flexibility How acceptance and commitment therapy can be applied when making decisions Making values-driven decisions and the importance of community and connection Cohost 2024 reflections and highlights About Emily Edlynn Emily (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric health psychology who works in private practice with children, teens, and adults. She has a BA in English from Smith College, a PhD in clinical psychology from Loyola University Chicago, and completed postgraduate training at Stanford and Children’s Hospital Orange County. Emily spent almost ten years working in children’s hospitals before pivoting to private practice, which allowed her to start a writing career. Emily has written her blog, The Art and Science of Mom , since 2017 and a parenting advice column for Parents.com since 2019. About Debbie Sorenson Debbie (she/her) is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. She is author of the upcoming book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy , and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy . She loves living in Colorado, her home state, with her husband, two daughters, and dog. About Jill Stoddard Jill Stoddard is passionate about sharing science-backed ideas from psychology to help people thrive. She is a psychologist, writer, TEDx speaker, award-winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, and co-host of the popular Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. Dr. Stoddard is the author of three books: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ; Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance ; and Imposter No More: Overcome Self-doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career . Her writing has also appeared in Psychology Today, Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, and Mindful Return. She regularly appears on podcasts and as an expert source for various media outlets. She lives in Newburyport, MA with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French Bulldog. About Michael Herold Michael (he/him) is a confidence trainer and social skills coach , based in Vienna, Austria. He’s helping his clients overcome their social anxiety through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and fun exposure exercises. (Though the jury is still out on whether they’re mostly fun for him). He is also a certified therapeutic game master, utilizing the Dungeons&Dragons tabletop roleplaying game to train communication, assertiveness, and teamwork with young adults. Or actually, anyone ready to roll some dice and battle goblins in a supportive group where players want to level up (pun!) their social skills. Michael is the head coach of the L.A. based company The Art of Charm , running their confidence-building program “Unstoppable” as well as workshops on small talk, storytelling, vulnerability, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

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387. How To Change with Katy Milkman Rerelease 1:06:17

15 weeks ago1:06:17