281 How to Find Your True Worth in Christ: Overcoming Lies and Embracing God’s Truth

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary:

In this episode, I talked with former runway model, Jennifer Strickland. Jennifer shared how she suffered emotional and spiritual wounds when she allowed others’ opinions of her to determine her worth and value. Through her journey, she discovered the importance of finding the true source of her worth -- in Christ. Now, she ministers to other women who need to know this life-changing truth as well.

Quotables from the episode:

• We all have pain and hurt, and if we aren’t careful and don’t get healing, that is what the enemy uses to hold us back, to think that we are not worthy to be used by God, that we are not worthy of love and acceptance.
• Sometimes, those things are things that have happened to us. Other times, they are things that we have made a conscious decision to participate in.
• But I’m here to tell you that your past is not wasted. And that thing that you think is so shameful, embarrassing, or disgraceful is often exactly what God wants to use to encourage others and to help you grow.
• I was 22 years old when I lived in Milan and was modeling on the runway. A particular man came into my life as a father figure and he saw that I could be a top model. That began a long journey in my life of believing that I was what man said about me.
• The lens that agents and photographers saw me became the lens through which I saw myself. If they said I was beautiful, I believed it, but if they said that I was ugly or anorexic then I believed that.
• This particular relationship became toxic for me spiritually. I really believe that the enemy worked through this man to plant some really poisonous lies in my heart.
• When I didn’t make the choices that he wanted me to make, he told me I was disposable, so I allowed man to determine my value.
• On the spiritual side of things, when I discovered Jesus, it drove me into a deep study of who was man? The word of God says, “do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save…but if you put your trust in God it will be like a well-watered garden.”
• It was the destructive lies that I heard from my interaction with this man that led me to write many of the messages I write now which helps women understand what’s going on with them when they allow a good man or a bad man to give them their identity, value, or worth.
• I carried the lies I believed about man determining my identity even into my marriage even after I became a Christian. So, if my husband said anything, even if he was trying to help me, I became very defensive and fearful based on what he said. I had to heal from those lies.
• I had to wallpaper my mind with truth. I had to forgive. It was very difficult for me to forgive a couple of particular people in the modeling industry for how they impacted my life, but when I did, I could then filter what other people were saying to me through a lens of wholeness.
• I had to do that healing work first before I could receive from Godly men, like my husband or father figures in a healthy way. I could receive constructive criticism or correction without believing it had anything to do with my identity.
• The enemy often plants lies in our childhood before we are mature enough to identify them as lies. The longer and more frequently we hear them, the more they become imbedded. It takes a lot of time and willingness to go deep and ask, “what lies have I believed?”
• Healing is a process and if we will take those wounds to God, he can take them, heal them, and turn them into beautiful sacred scars.
• The key to healing is always honesty.
• For me, healing began with writing my story, speaking my story, and identifying the patterns that were going on.
• I also believed that I was only as valuable as what I saw in the mirror or what I saw in other girls. That continued into my ministry as social media was throwing other people in my face, whereas when ministry was one on one with me and another girl, I never thought about that or played the comparison game.
• I had to learn to celebrate other women and continue running in my own lane and do it well.
• It’s a matter of dealing with the memories, assessing the lies and replacing them with the truth of what God says about us.
• I am his ambassador, I am his daughter, I am the apple of his eye. He never takes his eye off of me. I am loved by him every single day. His grace is sufficient for me.
• We have to stand on his truth and then walk in it. Confession and repentance is so important. The power of being honest about our sin is unmatched.
• Once we get honest about our struggle, is the first step, and then replacing it with truth of who we are.
• Culture today talks about “my truth” but that is just more deception from the enemy because there is only one truth and it is God’s truth based on what he has already spelled out and told us in his Word.
• You are already loved, accepted, and adored by the God of the universe!
• Scripture says that the heart is deceitful above all else, and we rely on “our truth” that is deception.
• What I admire about your ministry is that you are taking a very painful wound from your teen and young adult years, and using it to minister to other women, as a beautiful sacred scar because you can say, “I’ve been through this. I know the lies you’re believing. But let me share with you what I’ve learned on my journey.”
• God showed me my scars served a redemptive purpose by allowing me to get to the bottom of the well where things were so dark and so destructive for me. I was suicidal, I was using drugs and alcohol. I was starving myself. I hated myself. God allowed me to get to a place of total darkness.
• At that point, when I began reading God’s Word for the first time, and Christians invited me to church, I began to see that the lies the world tells us about beauty, worth, purpose, “my truth” means nothing. It’s such a shallow wide ocean that you drown in real quick.
• But his love is endlessly deep. You can dip your toe into the word of God the rest of your life and stay endlessly refreshed.
• It’s a lifelong walk of saying society is not going to define me, media is not going to define me, but God is going to be the one to define me and fill me up.
• We need to turn every day to the Lord and say, “I need you to fill me up. I need your wisdom today. I’m not going to find it in me.
• If something devastating has happened to you, or if you’ve made poor choices, you are not too far gone for the God of the universe to reach down into that pit and say, “Let me show you a different way and let me not only bring you out of it but redeem it for good and for my glory.”
• When it seems impossible, remember God is the God of the impossible so let him do the seemingly impossible in your life.
• The hope filled perspective is that God will shine his light into the depths of your dark sea, but you have to choose to swim after it. God sold everything he had for you, and that was his son, Jesus. Jesus is the light of the world. So, when he wants to shine that light on the beautiful person you are, but you have to be honest and let him wash you with his spirit to be able to reveal who you are really intended to be.
• When you’re in that very painful place, that sand of adversity, let it shape you more into his likeness.

Scripture References:

• Psalms 25:20 NIV “Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.”
• Psalms 146:3 NIV “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.”
• Jeremiah 17:9 NIV “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.”

Recommended Resources:

• I Am a Woman: Taking Back Our Name by Jennifer Strickland
• Girl Perfect by Jennifer Strickland
• More Beautiful Than You Know by Jennifer Strickland
• Beautiful Lies by Jennifer Strickland
• 21 Myths (Even Good) Girls Believe About Sex by Jennifer Strickland
• Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
• Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
• Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
• Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Trusting God Through Cancer 1
• Trusting God Through Cancer 2
• Revive & Thrive Women's Conference
• Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.)
• Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win

Social Media Links for Guest and Host:

Connect with Jennifer Strickland:

Website URMore / Facebook / Instagram / YouTube / X

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube

Guest:

Jennifer Strickland is a former international model, TEDx speaker, author, wife, mother of three, and the founder of a non-profit called U R More, that helps women and girls discover their value, identity, and purpose.

Jen has written several books and studies teaching women and girls their true worth, including Girl Perfect, More Beautiful Than You Know, Beautiful Lies, and 21 Myths (Even Good) Girls Believe About Sex. She holds a bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism and a master’s degree in writing with an emphasis in biblical studies.

In her earlier days, Jen worked for 15 years as a professional model, appearing in Vogue, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan. She was featured in ads for Converse Tennis Shoes, Oil of O’lay, Mercedes Benz, Eddie Bauer, and Jordache; and at the height of her career, she walked the runways of Europe for Giorgio Armani and represented Barbie for the 35th anniversary of the doll. But Jen learned beauty is more than what meets the eye when she discovered what she looked like in God’s eyes.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson