Embracing My Inner DIVA!

Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women

Warrior DIVAS Episode 2

Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS Real talk for Real Women. This is your host, Angie Leigh Monroe. I jumped in there just a little bit earlier so you know what, you too, can host your own podcast! It's not that hard people. But today we're going to talk about our legacy project DIVAS Impact. I shared in my last episode about my personal story and, and how I discovered the beauty of friendship and today we're going to talk about how compounding those friendships over the last few years has really built up where we're at today. See a few years ago, like I said, I was working on staff at a church and I had a team of administrative assistants, and I mentored at the church, and our church was going quite well. It was growing in numbers each week and our staff was huge. And there's a lot of people that think working at churches are glamorous, you know, especially if you're in that Christian world, you think, “oh, the best job on the planet is just working for the church.” And let me just tell you, there are real people that with real issues that work at the church and come to the church, you know, I used to leave my purse sitting on the counter with my husband and tell him to watch my purse. You know, he'd go “We're at a church.” “I'm like sinners come to church, you're a sinner, I'm a sinner. There's other sinners that come to church, watch my purse.” You know? Things happen. We can't be naive, so to speak, when just because we're in a church. Right. So I was over a team of admins that I mentored while I was on staff there. And our key phrase was that we were all about people. And I loved that because I was just learning to like people at that time. So, it really helped me stay focused. But what I was realizing was this team of admins that I was over and mentoring and they were worn out, they were constantly doing events to make sure the needs of the congregation were being met. And quite frankly, they weren't feeling like the church was all about people.

So, each morning, I would come in a little bit early, and I get on my email and I'd send out what I called a little Daily Diva, right? It was a little morning motivation. It had a verse had a little chapter, small paragraph of things and it had three challenge questions for them to just kind of get motivated, be encouraged, and feel good about their day as they step forward.
Well as you would know it, those admins liked it so much. They started telling other admins., and by the time we got done, we I think we had like 12,000 people that we were sending this email to. And we were asked to stop sending it from the church because it was starting to crush the email servers at the time. So, I didn't quite know what to do with that. So, I just pushed pause on it. I was a little terrified at how fast it grew. And how many people felt a connection and resonated with us at that time. So, about that time I had a female friend of mine that was a women's pastor, she came to me and she says, “Hey, we're starting this group called WILD Women and Leadership Development, and we would love for you to be a part of our first class.” I had to work some things out with my boss because we were in such a busy season and he was really stingy with my time. And so, he finally agreed to let me go, I think, his boss meeting let me get go
If we're completely honest, but I went to this group, and there were some amazing women in there that were do already doing amazing things. But as we started talking, we started realizing where our purpose was, we started becoming more defined in who we wanted to be and what we wanted to do. And some of the passions that were kind of common throughout our whole life. And we were beginning to learn how to articulate those passions. That's something that's very key. A lot of people are passionate about things, but they don't know how to be articulate about it. So, you can be passionate all you want about puppy dogs and kitty cats. But if you can't talk about why it's important to spay and neuter your pets, be rescued, get a rescue animal instead of from a puppy mill and all that stuff. Then you can be passionate all you want, but your influence and your impact is going to be limited. So, what they were teaching us was how to speak eloquently and impactfully into our areas of passion. I loved that.

So, about a week after we finished that class, my boss had come to me and said, “Hey, we need to change up the way we're doing our work here in the office. It's just not productive. We need a better system.” And I agreed with him because it just was not working. So, between the executive director, the director and I, as the coordinator, I had to get the whole team of 25 working in one machine, like a well-oiled machine. So, I talked with everybody, I did surveys, I got it all put together and I was excited. I was going into the office to present my case to the boss, my director sitting to my right, the executive director sitting across from me, I've got my notebook in front of me and I'm all excited.
After we reviewed it, my boss leaned back in his chair, put his boots up on the desk. And he said,

yeah, if you can't see on the podcast, I'm trying to put my leg up on the table and it hurts but Oh, ok. I think I just pulled something but okay. Anyway, here. He puts his boots up on the desk and he says, “let's just face it, Angie. I'm 55 years old, and I just don't see myself changing.”

Can I just tell you something? Months leading up until that time, I was miserable coming to work. I had been throwing up, pulling over on the side of the road, and throwing up every day. I was at the office at 7am to 7pm. Getting texts and emails till the wee hours of the morning we had a big 200,000 square foot campus. We were building. We had satellite campuses. We were renovating. We had an audit going on. We had tax negotiations going on. You name it. We had it going on. We were trying to do a capital campaign there was just so much stress and pressure. And when he said that, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was literally like somebody had reached down from the heaven above and went ‘you are free’, and I guess my demeanor changed because the director that had been sitting next to me and being quiet, the whole meeting, immediately went into panic mode. “Well, let's not let's not make any sudden decisions. Let's not do this. Yeah. Oh, you know,” I'm like, “No, no, no, it's fine. We're good.” I went home that night. I typed up my resignation letter, emailed it in the next morning. And then the chaos began…

They had us go back and forth and talk several times I kept trying to explain to people was, it was okay that he said that to me, because I had become complacent. There had been warning signs for a while that I needed to leave and go out on my own and do my thing. But it was much more safe and secure to get that guaranteed paycheck as an employee than it was to step out as an entrepreneur. So, when that happened, it was like the straw that broke the camel's back.
Now, when you leave work and that guaranteed paycheck, you better be a little bit more disciplined than you even think you need to be right. I can work in the office and have seven people organize 25 people organized have them all hitting their marks at one time. But for that first month out of the office, I slept, because I was tired, exhausted. But then I had to look forward. Where do I want to be in a month? Where do I want to be in three months? Where do I want to be in six months? Where do I want to be in a year? And to make those things happen? I had to figure out what I was going to do today. So I had to have a huge mindset shift from employee to entrepreneur because as an employee, all I had to do is get up, get dressed, drive into work, puke on the way to work, get to work, do my work, drive home, have a sleepless night while I answer texts and emails and do it all again the next day, rinse and repeat. Being an entrepreneur had me thinking outside the box. I still kept up with my administrative skill set though. I got clients that I was doing consulting work for the church when I left didn't have somebody to help them manage the nonprofit's that were coming in and wanting help and needing help and coaching so they asked me to do that. So, I was doing that, that was great and fine, but I was hiding. Now, I was starting to make a plan then.

See 2013, My youngest one was going into her senior year of high school, this is when you start going, “all right, freedom is on the horizon. Carpools, and sporting events, and how many crazy costumes you have to build for all the crazy spirit days in high school, and proms, and homecomings, and all that stuff. I had one more year of it, and then I was free, right?” So, I started booking speaking engagements in June of 2014. And throughout the rest of the year, and I was super excited. I didn't even necessarily know what I was going to talk about yet. It was going to be the first time I was going to be stepping on to a major stage since I'd stepped off the stage in high school. So, I was super stoked. I was still volunteering for women's ministry at the church. We had about 4000 women that gathered three to four times a year and I managed the team of volunteers that that took care of those women. I was super excited about that. But on the other side of it is I was tired of it.
I was really kind of over it. I've been doing it for nine years.
So August 1, I had lunch with my friend Carrie.
We had as we had lunch that day, she was listening to me talk about my hopes and dreams for divas. And she said, “I think he might need to put pink down for a little bit.” That was the ministry I worked for. That said, “You know, I was starting to feel that myself. But I'm not quite sure how to unravel myself from that world.” She goes, “I really think you need to put pink down” She goes, “think about it. Pray about it. We'll talk later.” So I left I have another friend Karen, who had been starting to build DIVAS with me she was editing and getting all the articles together for our magazines and all of that stuff. So, I called her on my way home. “Like you would not believe what Carrie Gant said to me.” She's like, “what?” I said, “she told me she thinks it's time for me to put pink down.” She goes, “Oh my God, thank goodness, I knew you would never let go until someone gave you permission to.” First off, I was a little offended by that because I don't need permission from anybody to do anything. But apparently, I did. So, before I get closed out with Karen, Carrie started calling back again. She had been in with the senior pastor and the senior pastor made a comment about “some of the volunteers you have, have been serving for way too long and they need a sabbatical. They need a time of rest. You they won't take it because they feel an obligation to you. It's your duty to give it to them.” So she says, “Here you are, you're on sabbatical. Bye.”

August 1 2013. I got fired from a volunteer position. Now I didn't get fired. I just got put on sabbatical to hopefully come back at another time, right?

Well, when you don't know what's in your future, it's amazing how things can be set up for it. Six days later, my oldest daughter called home from college, pregnant. About a month later, the house we were living in, was owner financed. Something fell through with the owners and the house we were living in, was now being taken away. So, we had to be out by about October 29. that same day was the day that my son and my fake son came home and told us they joined the army, and we're leaving two weeks apart from each other; October 29 and November 8th.
And oh, yeah, that was also the day that my daughter found out that the baby she was carrying was not just one, it was two. It was twins. Yeah. Talking about hyperventilating moment in the sonogram room. So here we were. Daughter coming home from college pregnant with twins. Sons moving off into the army. Youngest daughter going into her senior year of high school.
Homeless. Having to move in with my parents. That's a real bummer. My parents are great. Yeah, we've had on again off again, hurtful things we've all said and done. But that's family. That's just real life. Right?

Well, March of 2014, came around the twins were born a daughter experienced postpartum. The one of the babies was not doing so well health wise and had some health issues. So, I thought what is going to be a short six to yearlong sabbatical was still going on in October of 2014, and I didn't quite know how to reconcile that with myself. Until my friend Carrie came to me and said, “Hey, I'd like you to just come to my conference. I'm like, I'm not doing any conferences right now. You know, I'm not volunteering. I'm on sabbatical.” You know, I was so used to people coming to me for what they needed from me that I didn't even recognize that she was just asking me to come to just rest, to just be there, and connect, right? So, I show up at her conference in January of 2015. Remember, I'm just a participant. I was feeling quite good that day. God had pretty much ended my sabbatical on December 31. I was already starting to look at things to get connected to and do and all that stuff. And Carrie goes, “Hey, we want to do social media stuff on the screen.” And then the other girl goes, “Yeah, we want to do the hash brown thing.” I'm like, “hash brown, you mean hashtag?” She goes, “whatever it’s called, we want to do it on the screen and let people post about it and see it on the screen. Can you help us with that?” I'm like “Sure.” So, I whipped out a tag board forum, did all that stuff. Well, the MC couldn't wrap her brain around how to explain it. So, she asked me to step up on the stage and help her explain it. No problem, got up there, did that, stepped off the stage. Few minutes later. I hear her say “ladies, we're about to have worship time if you'll just stand up. You're about to be led into worship.” Wasn't exactly that, but that was kind of the gist of it, and out on the stage steps Al Denson. Now, Al Denson was playing music, the very first time I really had an urge in my spirit as to what I was supposed to be and how was supposed to go with life, right? That I was supposed to have a voice to reach the nations. So, I was floored, and he comes out and he says, “is that how a guy gets introduced at a women's conference.” And I said, “Nope, I got this.” I grabbed that microphone; I step back up onto the stage, and I said, “ladies, I'm going to tell you the very first time God whispered into my heart, with the plan and purpose for me was and the impact that I could have on to this world. It was to the soundtrack of Al Denson playing keyboards. So, if you're ready to go deep with God today, I encourage you to join us right now, as we step into the throne room of heaven.” And I stepped off the stage, sat back down, stood back up because it was worship time, and I looked up there and Alan was wiping tears from his eyes.

I just had an impactful moment and didn't even realize it. I just blew right by it.

But you know, the next day Al asked me to get up and share my testimony about Embrace
Grace, because it was so much better than any commercial that could run, and Embrace Grace was the organization that helped my daughter through her pregnancy and made the church a safe place for her to come back to. So, as I'm standing up there, and walking towards the stage, my feet are starting to feel like concrete. I'm a little hyperventilating, and I share the next three minutes the story of my daughter, and how not only did my daughter, as a baby, save my life, but how two babies saved my daughter's life. And I felt in that moment, something come alive in me. I felt something so empowered in me, like dead bones coming to life, like my skin coming back onto my body again, and whenever I stepped off that stage that day; I knew there were other women out there that I had to go get who were missing out on the calling and the purpose for their life. And that's why we started DIVAS Impact. Now a friend of mine was having a conference in March of 2016. Asked me to be the MC and my DIVAS team. We were managing all the back end of it and everything. And we launched DIVAS Impact March of 2016 in Grapevine, Texas, and you'll hear about it. We have our conference coming up later this year. It's going to be in that same hotel where we launched. It's exciting, but that week of March 16 to 400 women we pushed out DIVAS Impact. And let me tell you at that moment, whoa, it was on like Donkey Kong, okay. In just three short years, social media influences grown to over 90,000 followers. I've spoken in multiple states across the United States. I've spoken in Canada, I've spoken in England, you know, this is something that has opened so many doors and has built such a void in so many lives. You've got our online magazine that we've done a couple of additions of already. Our next one is coming out; it's going to be printed. We have the Warrior DIVAS podcast that you're listening to today. And you know, who we are and what we do is so important. So, when I go to business, networking events and things like that, so many people are kind of turning a deaf ear to women empowerment right now, because they're so sick of hearing it. But here's what I tell people that DIVAS Impact does. I tell people that we empower and equip a global community of women change agents to make a positive impact on the world we live in. We do that by helping them find clarity, overcome obstacles, encounter even more opportunities. And here's the thing when they asked me for more, I let them know that D.I.V.A.S. is an acronym. of our five foundational blocks.

D for destined, we seek out women who know who what they're calling is on their lap and are walking boldly and competently in that calling of their life. They know that there's a plan and a purpose for them to be prosperous and free from fear and we embrace those women. But we also challenge those women to reach out and help others be able to walk boldly and confidently so that they can believe there is a future out there for themselves.

I, I is for inspired. We want to know who inspires you; who, and what inspires you. It may not even be a who, it may be a what, it may be beauty around you that you see that inspires you each and every day to keep moving forward. What is that? And how can you help pass that forward to other people?

V is for victorious. Yesterday you heard me share that I don't share my story from a point of victim. I share my point from my story from a point of victorious, You know? My mission is to help women walk in Victory. I don't want them to walk with a victim mindset. I don't want them to walk, sharing their story from a point of pain. I want them to share their story from a point of victory.

We have A, A is for accountable. Now, I told you about my friend Kim on the last episode. My friend Kim was an amazing accountability partner when it came to work when it came to do buying the right gifts for my family and all that stuff. My friend was not the best accountability partner in the gym. Okay, we would get on the treadmill at the gym. And I'd say “okay, how much how much do you want to do? She goes, I want to do 10 minutes, and I want to go with this speed.” And we'd set our treadmills and we get going. About two minutes in she'd go “I'm really done.” I'm like “nope”, my personality is more of a D personality. And my I'd go “no left foot, right foot, but come on. You said you want to do 10 minutes, we're going to keep walking, 10 minutes right?” Now, I have off days, some of you may believe that, some of you may not, but I do have off days, I'd get on the treadmill, It'd be my turn to pick and say “I want to go 10 miles”, and, you know, whatever it is, and about two miles in, she'd go, “how do you feel?” I'm like, “I'm really not feeling it.” She's like, “Great, let's go get chips and salsa.”

I had to realize that accountability partners don't always work for every area of your life. So now I help women find the right accountability partner for them for whatever they're working through, and I'm building up teams of other women inside our organization. That can be great coaches in those areas that maybe I'm not so good at. And maybe you resonate better with these other coaches because we have an organization that doesn't compete with each other. We are building almost like a co-op of businesses and when women, and coaches, and consultants that can help you get where you want to be.

Now S is for sisterhood, because here's the deal when I was in the military I’ve already told you I was not a very good female soldier, to other females, Navy people and sailors, and soldiers; I just wasn't a good one. But let me tell you, I am now. You mess with one of us sisters, you're going to get us all. That's the way it is. No, no qualms about it. And we are an organization that you cannot turn a deaf ear or a blind eye to, because we are shifting the atmosphere. You won't necessarily see us, you won't necessarily hear us, but you will feel us, and what we're doing in the atmosphere around you.

Now, it's called DIVAS Impact. So, we can't leave out the word impact, right? This is my legacy project because I want this to be a ripple effect that goes multiple generational blinds deep, say that real, how many times real fast? Move boo, doo doo the deep; No, it's multiple generational lines deep, right? I want the women of tomorrow to feel the impact of today. I don't want them to have to struggle with body shaming and sexual assault and sexual harassment in the workplace. I don't want women looking at their bodies and using negative self-talk. I don't want us comparing ourselves to the Kardashians or The Real Housewives of bad behavior. I want us to be the change. I, I hear some people call us a feminist group, and I remind them quite honestly that that's really not what we are. We are so much more than that. When I hear the word feminist, I automatically think man haters. And I love the guys, because the guys are going to help us raise up men that are worthy of the women that we're going to be bringing up behind us. So, we are focused on helping women speak and think about themselves and others in a positive way, and that brings about growth. We want women to live boldly and confidently in their femininity and know their true power that they carry with them. I'm reminded of ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’, the mom in there, she tells her daughter she says “the man may be the head of the home, but the woman is the one that turns the head.” We have been living in the shadows for too long. We have been saying that we are not important because of where we are placed. Here’s the deal, we are as important as we allow ourselves to believe we are. This is our time. And I hope you are with me as we are dedicated to keep making a global impact. You can connect with us on our inner circles. And before we get out of here today, I want to tell you about one of our Everyday DIVAS. Each episode, we highlight a special woman who's doing extraordinary things. And many of these women are not household names, but Carrie Gant is our Everyday DIVA this month, this episode, whatever, we're doing this on. And I met her in WILD and she is the significantly solid one in my life right now. She is the one that has helped shape my home to be a place of refuge, my office to be a place of refuge and my soul to be a place of refuge for those that I interact with. She has an amazing design ability. I can look at a thousand magazines and never come up with what she comes up with. I think she put Joanna Gaines to shame but that’s just me. But you will never see her out front, you may even never hear her utter a word. You may see her behind the scenes at some of the events I do because that’s where she enjoys serving. That’s what she enjoys doing and it does not lessen her impact or her ability to do what she does because she is the side wings or the shadows because she is setting the atmosphere for you to be engaged and you to connect with what we are bringing you together for. So today I salute you Carrie Gant as our Everyday DIVAS and I want to thank you for joining us today and stay tuned for our next episode where we share more about our warrior mindset, we are embracing with DIVAS Impact. Be sure to connect with us on Facebook at our DIVAS Inner circle group and until next time this is Angie Leigh Monroe reminding you to be a DIVA and make an impact.