How Moms of Autistics Can Shift Their Minds to Control the Uncontrollable

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Hi Moms! There is a lot going on in our world today. We’ve been impacted by the pandemic, economic changes, a national shortage of autism specialists, long wait lists for treatment, and increased crime rates. The list goes on and on.

There are many changes occurring right now in my state regarding Medicaid, which greatly impacts families of autistics. These elements of life add to the typical challenges that moms of autistics incur.

It is overwhelming for all of us, especially with the holidays coming up.

In this episode, I peel the layers of the onion to share my own vulnerability to this and show how this impacts us all. I explore ways to control the uncontrollable and get back on track during difficult times.

Find the full transcript for this episode at http://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/47

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

The Negative Impact of Things Out of Your Control as an Autism Mom

As you know, I tend to be an optimistic person, but I get down at times. My optimistic outlook might make it appear that I am unscathed by the negativity of life at times, but that is not completely true. We are human beings and vulnerable to the things going on around us.

Some impacts are greater than others. Moms deal with this differently based on their own experiences, beliefs, and coping mechanisms.

I am in a very different place than I was 10 or 20 years ago. We grow and evolve with time and experience.

These are stressful times for many reasons, which is why the content of this episode is so timely and important.

Here is a brief survey to get you thinking about your current state of stress. You might need to circle back around to the transcript for this. Perhaps you can make a list of and consider the impact of each. It might be zero impact or minimal to high on a scale of 1-10.

Take a moment to consider the 8 common stress areas.

1. Finances- low pay, high debt, high utilities, grocery expenses, medial expenses
2. Job/Career- poor management, low morale
3. Community support- minimal people who get autism in your life, few reliable and compatible friendships
4. Family- parenting, significant other, familial discord
5. Housing Issues- neighborhood crime, housing expenses, noisy area
6. Health Issues- physical, emotional,
7. Education Needs- IEP issues, lack of support, increased push back or minimizing accommodations for success
8. Treatment Needs- long wait lists, shortage of autism professionals, limited treatment options in your area

Take some time and consider each area. Think about listing each from highest to lowest. Are you surprised by the outcome? You might have noticed some areas are higher or lower than you expected.

What Moms of Autistics Can Do to Make a Difference

While some of these stressors can improve over time with implemented changes, others are not within your control or at least for the moment.

That is a scary thought when you have limited control over something. As humans, we often try to control the uncontrollable with worry. That is the last thing you want to do.

My mom was a chronic worrier. She had good reason. She was overwhelmed as a single mom working more than one job, limited income, medical insurance, unreliable transportation, and serious health issues.

As a result, I learned to control my anxiety through worry. It took a while to unlearn that, but I did. You can too.

Five Healthy Ways I Learned to Control the Uncontrollable

I mentioned that we use worry to control things we cannot immediately chan