Start with why

The Doorstep Mile

Start with why

When we stumble upon something that captures our interest, we think, ‘Yes! That is what I want to do.’ Then we figure out how to make it happen, hopefully before the early enthusiasm wanes.

What we do is visible and tangible (golf, gardening, gymkhana…). But the deeper motives of why we choose them are harder to pin down and therefore neglected, or only vaguely assumed. This is a mistake. It can lead to us flitting from one fad to the next, from job to job, not inspired enough to fully commit and never quite satisfied. If we do not uncover why we are out there searching. We risk ending up with nothing of substance. Chase too many rabbits and you catch none at all.

Riding around the planet was the what and how of expressing my youthful, adventurous urges. But I only fully excavated the reason why I wanted to do it after the Yukon forest fire. I should have processed things the other way round.

‘Start with why’ is a popular TED talk by Simon Sinek. He speaks in a business context, but I have found the idea useful for persuading myself to summon the effort needed to make interesting stuff happen. We can only spend our time once. It is foolish to not consider why we should take this path and not another. Being clear about why you choose to do something is an under-appreciated first step to living adventurously.

It makes sense to have some idea about what matters most in order to illuminate our stumbling, fumbling journey through life. It serves as a keel to keep you on course, however foggy the conditions, and gives you more confidence to explore, dream and discover. The destination you end up in is likely to be a good one, even if it is not what you imagined when you first set sail from the safe harbour. (Another way to help with this is to pay attention to the people you spend time with. We tend to walk the same way as those around us.)

The Japanese, as they often do, have a nifty word that encapsulates this essence of what gets you out of bed in the morning. Ikigai is the overlap of what you want to do, what you ought to do, and what you have to do. If you can find something that ticks all three boxes, then you have discovered your ikigai – and perhaps even the purpose of your adventurous life.

Starting with why helps quieten our self-defeating noise and deters procrastination. For example, this is the sort of thought process that rattles around my tiny brain from time to time.

‘My life sucks. I’m bored. I want to change things.’

Why?

‘So that I get back some purpose and direction. I want to feel healthier, happier and more alive.’

These reasons are so compelling that I am motivated to actually make something happen, rather than just more late-night grazing on clickbait lifehack blogs.

How will I go about that?

‘I must re-evaluate the way I spend my spare time. I will figure out if I have sufficient money to skew my work-life balance a bit more towards life, family and exploration. Perhaps I’ll meet a few friends in the pub and make a plan. That way, we can hold each other to account. I sometimes need a mate to push me into boldness.’

By this point, I should be bouncing around with eagerness. I’m clear about why I want to make changes and how I will go about it.

Finally comes the easy part: deciding what to do.

Because I’ve thought hard about the why and the how, I appreciate this is really important. Therefore the daunting act of signing up for a mountain marathon, turning up to a book club or asking my boss about cutting down my hours becomes more straightforward. Indeed it is now apparent how daft I would be not to do these things.

Compare this approach to starting from a standing start. All the negative voices shouting inside my head: how unfit I am for a mountain marathon, how scary it would be to turn up at a book club where I know nobody, or assuming there is no way my boss would countenance any time off. He’ll probably fire me instead! Far safer to just keep hiding away behind my excuses and not begin anything…

Over to You:

Why do you want to live more adventurously?

- Brainstorm or discuss (but don’t procrastinate) until things become clear. Bonus challenge: ‘Five Whys’ is a technique for getting deeper into the root causes and effects of something. Look at an answer and ask again, ‘why?’ Repeat the exercise five times (like an inquisitive toddler) and you’ll get a clearer insight into what drives you.

- How can you begin living more adventurously?

- What specific action can you take to put the ‘hows’ into action?

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