150. They Will Always Pick You Apart

The B.E.D Project with Bryson Q. Sessions

3:37pm, March 17th, 2024, Car/Gym, UT

I actually felt good about this one. It makes me feel like I actually have something valuable to share with the world when I can (at least I feel this way) nail a particular idea. Progress baby. But anyway, I’m going to copy and paste my notes I wrote for this. I didn’t write the notes for this episode, I just write here and there. Sometimes I put a lot more work into it, other times it’s a couple sentences like I talked about yesterday.

The purpose of this one was to help me understand that people will always pick you apart. The people who do this need the most help. They are also the ones who cannot be helped. It is what it is. But putting some light on it and thinking it through helps. No matter what, it’ll always be easier for you and harder for someone else. I haven’t even started virtually anything yet and I’m getting comments thrown my way. It’s interesting.

So here is the exact note I wrote:

I keep thinking about when I “make it.”

There’s going to be people who say the only reason I was able to get to where I’m at is because I don’t have kids.

Okay, I don’t have kids. There’s validity to that argument. Kids take up time and resources. Correct.

Let’s say I have a kid then.

There will be people who say the only reason I was able to get to where I’m at is because I only have 1 kid.

Okay, I have just 1 kid. There’s validity to that argument. Surely, having 2 kids is more time consuming and more financially demanding than just one. Fair.

Let’s say I have 3 kids then.

There will be people who say the only reason I was —

Get it?

“Of course you make a lot of money. I’d have a lot of money to if all I did was waste my life away working.”

Fair statement. What’s inaccurate is the use of the word “waste,” which is subjective based on personal values.

“No wonder you are able to do all this. You don’t socialize, see your family, or talk to friends!”

I think this is interesting because that assumes that in order to be at any point in life that is identical to me, you cannot socialize, see your family, or talk to friends. Surely people have “made it” while doing the previously mentioned things. It goes back to personal values.

“You have no balance. All you do is look after yourself. I’d be able to afford that too if I didn’t have any responsibilities other than myself.”

Correct. Unbalanced circumstances lead to outsized returns. Being unbalanced is often seen as bad. But why is it bad? Suppose I get a kick out of being the highest on the teeter totter rather than being at the lowest. My enjoyment, then, stems from the literal unbalanced load on the teeter totter. I am therefore at my highest (no pun intended) and enjoying my time being on an unbalanced ride. It is a desired position to be in — for me. So, in other words. My desires, independent of the sacrifices or trade-offs, lead me to happiness, fulfillment, and abundance. That is absolutely correct. If the person I hop on the teeter totter with wants to go up and down, they’re seeking balance. I am not. 2 goals. 2 outcomes. Nothing bad. Nothing good. It’s preference based on desired outcome.

“Yeah you have a Lamborghini but you traded half your life to have it. At least I have memories.”

Correct. Big goals take a lot of time to achieve. Giant goals take an even longer time to reach. And monumental goals take decades. I “traded” half my life to buy this car because of what the achievement means to me. And by “trade” I mean I swapped Netflix, drinking, guys night out, drugs, doom scrolling, bitching, gossiping, and time wasting activities for intentional work I found joy in. I willingly sacrificed a lot to make this happen. This goal got me out of bed in the morning and got me to work hard. I helped a lot of people in the process and also missed out on a lot. If everyone owned a Lamborghini, there would be nothing special about it at all. This goal gave me direction. Without this goal, I’d be living a nightmare. Which is the social norm of today’s world. 9-5, Netflix at night, drinking on weekends, miserable, fat, and lazy in the mean time. No thank you. I got a steal. I’m only 38 and own a Lamborghini.