87: Releasing the Mother Load with Erica Djossa

Struggle Care

Every mother needs to hear this conversation. It just doesn’t make sense that we put so much undue pressure on ourselves and are quick to criticize and judge other moms for their parenting styles. I’m joined today by Erica Djossa, the author of Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More. We are talking about all things motherhood and expectations, why I’ve been blasted over a couple of recent TikToks, and Erica’s parenting wisdom from her book. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

● One of KC’s videos about how she “doesn’t play” with her kids—and the flurry of negative responses over parenting choices

● The intensive mothering ideation: motherhood equals martyrdom, mothers must put everyone else’s needs about their own, shelve all their interests, and be self-sacrificial in every way

● The second of KC’s videos about sending her dog away from home for training—and the flurry of anger and shame over her inadequacies as a dog owner

● Mainstay pillars of the intensive mothering ideology and the BS that is promoted as healthy attachment and “good mothering”

● Giving less can sometimes mean giving more.

● The truth that shows up in the bedtime routine (“Are you holding space for yourself, mom?”)

● The scope, dynamic, and importance of “independent play,” creativity, and solving problems

● Healthy attachment: safety, security, reliability, and dependability

● The space for moms to have unique and different personalities and mothering styles, like bedroom parents vs. living room parents

● Projecting our mother wounds on other moms (Why do we do it?)

● Understanding why not all NOs are equal

● The disparity in expectations and judgment for moms and dads

● Motherhood expectations, boundaries, and the stories we tell ourselves

Resources and Links:

Connect with Erica Djossa: Website, Instagram, Momwell Podcast, and Releasing the Mother Load book

Mentioned by Erica: Needy by Mara Glatzel

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

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