Delayed But Not Denied feat. Shardia Washington

For Better Or Best Podcast

Barely-making-it Beloved is fresh off of a flight to join Shireen and their guest, occupational therapist, Shardia Washington. Her intro defines what her exact medical title means as they discuss the very touchy topic of children. Identifying developmental hurdles as a parent can be tough. Shireen shares that their second son Carter was a little delayed in his ability to stand and walk as a 1 year old, and being familiar with CJ's growth (he was slightly late and lazy), she knew that Carter would need the same if not more grace(1:52-5:05). Milestones are not definitive; Shardia explains that having an idea of where kids should be is fine, but the shame and guilt about something possibly being "wrong" shouldn't keep you from getting an assessment. She says that being a clinician, she can't help but always be transparent with parents, even friends who may be in denial about their situation. She says she can't turn it off, its her responsibility but always makes sure that she's not overstepping boundaries. Shireen asks if Shardia gets pushback from parents because she doesn't have children. Shardia makes it clear to parents that they know their child, no one knows and loves them like a mom, but the mom doesn't know disability or development, so she says its important to disarm the parents so it feels solution based (7:12-13:30). There's progress made in discomfort. Charles jokes that he's knock-kneed and Shireen is piegon toed so he cracks a joke about their kids having inherited their joint traits. Carter is now old enough to understand his intuition and senses when he's about to be pushed or challenged to work on his development. Charles describes Carter as being a little lazy and stubborn, that the older he gets the harder it is for him to adapt; fear shows up. Some days he's got the energy and some days he doesn't. Shardia says thats like us too, as adults. Nurturing a kids' capacity is just as important as our own. We have to recognize what we grew out of and get out of our feelings about where the kids are in comparison. So much of the Black community has been held together by the "family business stays in the house" idealogy, that help thats available goes ignored. You'd be shocked to find out how many people would assist if they knew you were in need(14:01-20:10). Shardia breaks down how small things get compounded if gone untreated with kids, and the problems can go from being medical to social. Carter is very social, Shireen sees how engaged he is at home with his brother. They point out how different their lives have become, from once having a baby who was immobile to having a child who runs around with curiosity. Shireen says the physical therapist sees Carter twice a week but she doesn't feel like its really working as well as it should, even with concentrated practice at home. Shardia looks for patient/clinician fit and results. She says sometimes you can have one without the other, and if progress isn't ongoing, its time to take a more aggressive approach and explore second and third opinions. And bear in mind that cost does not always equal quality when it comes to care(21:02-27:32). When you first start therapy, Shardia says she's assessing the barriers that are preventing the child from doing what they need to do. Throughout the intervention, Shardia knows what targets the kid needs to hit at every session. Every parent should also be able to keep track according to what the clinician provides. Shireen is an action oriented parent, and found another treatment center for Carter and had a new therapist do a home evaluation that felt much more productive. CJ makes a rare appearance! Shireen says that kids tell everybody your business at school, he's bragging about season 2 of the podcast!