142: Grow Your Confidence: With Fay Wallis

Self Belief Unsquashed

Career Coach Fay Wallis is frequently faced with clients who say 'I just want to be more confident'. Confidence dips are human. But what is confidence? How do we work on growing our self-confidence and feeling more confident in our thoughts, actions and feelings? This episode unpacks all of this and more.

We explore:

The Self-depricating habit

The myth of - everyone has it together

The power of 'yet'

Growth and fixed mindset

Triggers of confidence dips

The brain-body effect

The power of small steps

Connect with Fay Wallis - LinkedIn, Website.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Imposter Syndrome - Research conducted by Clance and Imes in the 1970s.

Book: Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck

Book: "How Emotions Are Made" by Dr. Lisa Feldman

Podcast Episode: "How to be More Assertive" - Episode 91 of the HR Coffee Time podcast

• Timestamp: 00:12:37

Five Whys - Link to the technique

TOPIC TIMESTAMPS -

The self-deprecating trap [00:04:48]
Faye shares a personal story about how she used to make self-deprecating jokes and how her boss called her out on it.

Confidence as a common struggle [00:08:05]
Faye discusses how confidence is a recurring issue for about 98% of her clients, including those in senior roles.

Addressing specific confidence issues [00:10:41]
Faye shares advice she received about tackling confidence issues by identifying the specific areas where individuals lack confidence.

The importance of narrowing down specific issues [00:11:42]
Discussion on how to identify and address specific areas of lacking confidence.

The impact of negative self-judgment on confidence [00:13:44]
Exploration of how self-criticism and negative self-judgment can affect confidence levels.

The power of a growth mindset [00:16:03]
Explanation of the concept of a growth mindset and its positive impact on confidence and personal development.

The blips of self-doubt during transitions [00:25:36]
Discussion on how transitions, such as stepping into a new role or returning to work after a break, can trigger moments of self-doubt and fear of the unknown.

Understanding the physical reactions of fear and excitement [00:28:09]
Explanation of how the body's fight or flight response can cause physical symptoms like shaking, clammy hands, and a creaky voice, and how reframing these reactions as signs of excitement can help boost confidence.

Practical tip: Recognizing the brain's role in emotions [00:30:09]
Recommendation of the book "How Emotions Are Made" by Dr. Lisa Feldman as a resource for understanding how the brain processes emotions, helping to debunk the myth that there is something inherently wrong with oneself.

The power of small steps [00:33:26]
Taking small steps towards building confidence, such as adjusting body language, can have a significant impact.

Building confidence through tiny steps [00:35:42]
Progressing gradually and consistently with small steps can lead to increased confidence in any area.

Confidence comes through action [00:37:47]
Confidence is not something you are born with, but rather something that is developed through taking action and trying.

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Unsquashing insights and small step actions to explore - just listening to this conversation will have you feeling more motivated - which is all part of confidence!

Also available at www.trishalewis.com

Follow me for more unsquashing tips - including links to -

THE unsquashing book - The Mystery of the Squashed Self

and my TEDx talk - Beware the self squashing prophecy.