Difficult Conversations: Being Present for Death & Dying

Help Me, Rhonda! with Dr. Rhonda Karg

In today's episode of "Help Me, Rhonda!," clinical psychologist Dr. Rhonda Karg discusses a topic that is difficult for many to have: Talking about death and dying. She discusses ways in which Western medicine's goal is to extend your life as long as possible. As a result, difficult discussions between doctors and their patients about death and dying are avoided. It is as though we want to be in denial about our own mortality. The book "Being Mortal" was written by an Indian physician about the aging process and the process of actively. The ultimate self-care is to practice having a teflon mind and not getting attached to our thoughts, our feelings, other people's thoughts and feeling, our bodily sensations, or what's happening in the world around us. To help listeners regulate their emotions, Dr. Karg teaches the audience several effective methods for helping you be present with the people affected by loss so they feel seen, heard, and understood. She encourages those on the receiving end to ask for what you need and don't be afraid to say no to offers to "help." Discussions about death and dying are some of the most important conversations we could ever have but so many people in our society are afraid to discuss death and dying because it's too intense of a topic for some. Dr. Karg encourages you to get outside yourself so you can be there for others and then to hold space for your feelings when the time is right (e.g., after work, before dinner). She teaches other methods to help you cope with difficult situations and be present. Examples of this include having a teflon mind, letting go of your judgment about what is happening, helping others and "bringing a bouquet," taking space to self-soothe and work through your big feelings if you are triggered and coming back when your body is calm so you don't react in fight-or-flight. Being in control of your emotions when you are triggered is the ultimate self-care.
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