Bible Stories For Atheists सार्वजनिक
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We all remember the songs about Joshua and the Battle of Jericho and the cartoons and the children's books. All those glorious money-making forms of "art" that taught children valuable lessons about walking in circles around a city and not shouting until God says it's ok, while ignoring that the story was about divinely mandated genocide. Let's pla…
 
I'll be honest. This episode is about crossing a river. We cover 5 chapters of the bible, and at the beginning of it some people are on one side of a river, and at the end those people are on the other side of the river. If you're into rivers, this episode is for you. If you loved River Phoenix in the 1992 cinema masterpiece "Sneakers" then this ep…
 
While reading Genesis in our first several episodes, I noticed odd things. The same stories repeated, stories with inconsistent details, and conflicting commandments. Things I’m sure I noticed growing up as a Christian, but I wrote off as a lack of biblical knowledge on my part. I started doing research into what modern science and scholars can tel…
 
We finally cover the story of the little wooden prophet who wanted to be a real boy so bad he ended up in the belly of a whale. Ok, so he wasn't wooden, didn't want to be a real boy, and it was a fish and not a whale. But still! Hear the iconic tale of Jonah being swallowed for a fi... oh it's over? Just like that, it's just done? Well how are we g…
 
We dive deep into Josh. Or at least Josh's past. How he went from devout Christian to a raging atheist. Was it because of all the Carmen, dc talk, and POD he listened to growing up? Was it because he learned about creationism from Canned Hamm? Was it because he went to a Christian university that didn't allow dancing? Nope. Ultimately it's God's fa…
 
We take on the 2nd and last book named for a woman. Will she be a feminist icon? No. I'll just let you know that now. But she will make a few decisions for herself. So yay for progress. Have you ever wondered, "What's up with the Jewish holiday of Purim?" I know you have. I heard you whispering about it into your pillow at night. "Where did Purim c…
 
Happy New Year all you sinners and sodomites! We're having ourselves a laid back episode where we go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole on Yzidism, a religion where one of the central figures is a Peacock Angel. And we talk about a great post a listener left on our subreddit. Pardon the goddamn husky belonging to our neighbor barking in the background pr…
 
This week we blow through Ruth, one of the shorter books of the bible, in a single episode. We find out about Naomi, whose sons break religious law by marrying Moabite women, not that anyone mentions that. But when her husband and sons die in seemingly unrelated events, Naomi and her daughter-in-law, Ruth, return to Judah. Naomi and Ruth work on ge…
 
You know that feeling when you're talking with 3 of your friends in poetic verse for a few days and then you find out there was another guy there the entire time? Job does. This young guy, Elihu, apparently has been there this entire time and is pissed off at everybody. He goes on a rant and then disappears into the background again. Almost as if h…
 
We kick off a two part series on the Book of Job. That weird book people LOVE to talk about but no one reads... I guess that's not specific enough. That weird book where god suddenly unleashes unending cruelty on someone for no reason... I guess that's not specific enough. It's the one where god makes a bet with Satan that he has Job gaslit enough …
 
We set the "good" book aside for the week and pull up some "meh" videos on modern Christianity. We react to way out of the logical box thinking on religion. Meet Tim Mackie, one of the founders of Bible Project. Tim has some interesting ideas on the nature of God's space and Earth's space. And how they overlaPAH. Unfortunately we never are told the…
 
We wrap up our 4 part series on the book of Acts and hear all about Paul's retirement in Rome. But that's skipping ahead. First off, the unchanging, infallible Holy Spirit kicks off this episode by changing their mind on Paul going to Jerusalem. But don't worry, Paul ignores it and there is no consequences. Paul has to prove his Judaism to the Chri…
 
Between Linz having a migraine and our self isolating due to a COVID exposure, this episode was doomed to be amazing. This is the third installment of our 4 part series on the Book of Acts and it starts with a freakin' wizard! A wizard named Bar-wait for it-Jesus! In the middle of cursing the wizard, Saul changes his name to Paul and will never be …
 
We’re taking a short break from our series on the book of Acts this week to talk with Lilac, a teenager who was kicked out of her home because of religious issues with her Jehovah’s Witness family. The first part of the episode, I’ll explain to Linz how I found out what was going on with Lilac and get Linz’s reaction. And in the second part we have…
 
We continue our series on Acts starting with a story about a Sorcerer named Simon. A guy named Philip meets an unnamed Ethiopian eunuch who is really into a prophesy that Philip completely gets wrong. Also it turns out Christians can teleport. We have a real Saul on the road to Damascus moment, when we talk about Saul on the road to Damascus. We ta…
 
We kick off our series on the book of Acts and start with yet another telling of the ascension of Jesus. Slightly different from Luke but very different from the other gospels. Judas gets replaced. The Holy Spirit comes on everyone at the Pentecost! Lapping up their loins with tongues of fire. And the early church starts getting persecuted simply f…
 
We wrap up our 18 part series on Jesus and the gospels with his bouncy ball burial. You just can’t keep this dude down. While there’s some discrepancies among the gospels on the burial, that’s nothing compared to the resurrection. None of them can agree wtf happened. How many angels were there? Were they men or boys? Were there solders there? Did t…
 
This is it folks. The crucifixion. The grand climax. Where God’s Holy Spirit comes on all of us. But first we find out what happened to Judas, who realized what a Judas he had been to Jesus. But of course, no one can say for sure what happened to him. Jesus is put on trial before Pontius Pilate who oddly comes across as a pretty decent dude. Too de…
 
We start off by asking the ultimate question… What are the nuts in your life? But then we start talking about Jesus. Jesus goes to the garden of Gethsemane where he keeps praying and his disciples keep falling asleep. Even when an angel shows up and scares Jesus so bad he starts sweating blood. Judas does what he does best and betrays Jesus. He com…
 
Jesus is about to have his last supper and he uses his apparently psychic abilities to tell the disciples how to get it set up. Then Jesus strips down and washes his disciples’ feet. I don’t know why he had to get naked for it, but there you go. Unless he’s not naked. Unless there is an opposite to “outer” clothing that we can’t think of. Linz find…
 
“Was the Gospel of John Changed to Suppress Mary Magdalene?” by ReligionForBreakfast – https://youtu.be/rfy6oiB_U-A Crucifying Tony Stark – https://youtu.be/V9_AeLmuRKc?t=120 Turns out Jesus wants us to #TaxTheRich! At least that’s what he tells some Pharisee’s who try to trap him by asking one question and giving up. Also, Jesus is asked important…
 
Zacchaeus the Tax Collector What does it take to get Jesus’ attention when you’re vertically challenged? Hope you’re good at climbing trees. If you are, hope you have space for Jesus to invite himself over for the night. Parable of the Ten Minas / Bags of Gold We discuss prosperity gospel cultists’ favorite parable about needing to gain interest on…
 
It’s a Mother’s Day episode! Josh’s mom, Jill, and Lindsay’s son, Connor, join us. Speaking of mothers, we dig into the questions around Mother Teresa’s work. Was she actually helping people or just raising money for the catholic church? We cover the parable of The Prodigal Son, the Shrewd Manager, and the Unmerciful Servant. Jesus randomly drops a…
 
Happy Orthodox Easter! What the hell is that anyway? We kick off with Jesus spitting in some dirt, making some mud, and rubbing it into the eyes of a blind guy to make him see again. Which is weird since he’s healed a lot of blind people before yet never needed to spit in their face to do it. Hmmmm…. There’s the Parable of the Rich Fool, where we a…
 
Don’t look it up. Let’s see how well you remember it. Try to complete this sentence, “Our Father, who art in heaven…” Of all the commandments God handed down throughout the Old Testament, which is the greatest? Trick question! Two of them are the greatest! And Jesus breaks them down, or has them broken down for him, depending on which gospel you re…
 
Have you ever wondered when Jesus went from a middle eastern person to a white Anglo-Saxon? No… it doesn’t just stem from German Protestant racism. It was the Transfiguration! When God bleaches Jesus’s clothes white and “transforms his face”. Before that though we hear the confession of Peter. It’s pretty lame for a confession. More like him just b…
 
Remember when the apostles all left to minister to Israel and Jesus said they wouldn’t be done before he returns? Well they’re done… awkward. Also, don’t forget, they kept getting talked about even when they were “gone”. Jesus throws his own Fyre Festival where 5,000 people show up and no one thought through logistics of buying food, or probably sh…
 
It’s a parable filled episode and we dig into the storytelling of Jesus. Is he a great storyteller like Homer or Aesop? Or more like a Blue’s Clues reject writer, getting pissed off when the kids don’t understand what the hell the mustard seed means? Where the moral lessons aren’t to give to those in need or don’t be sexist, no matter how helpful t…
 
This was an interesting one, folks. We find out how one major character’s traditional backstory is complete bullshit. But first, the BIG sermon. You could even say it’s mountainous. It’s the Sermon on the “Mount”. Because that sounds better than Sermon on the “Level Place”. We kick it off with the Beatitudes. Both sets of them. And we discover wher…
 
We kick off this episode hearing a miraculous story about two blind men somehow being able to follow Jesus as he dodges their pleas for help. After he relents he’s suddenly stopped by the most pointless demon ever to exist. We get a riveting story about plucking grain on the sabbath. Jesus picks 12 of his disciples (which may have been all his disc…
 
These days to get famous you just need good looks and a smartphone. But people forget that to get famous in biblical times you needed to cure leprosy and paralysis. But life is tough when you become a religious influencer. You get crowded. And there’s probably other problems. It gets so hard sometimes you get indignant at people who want your help.…
 
In this episode we kick off finding out the bible (which is perfect) has conflicting genealogies for Joseph, Jesus’ step dad. And Josh blowing Linz’s mind that John 3:16 isn’t a verse about good sportsmanship. When we finally dig into the story of Jesus we look at his first miracle! Such an important event would obviously be thoroughly documented i…
 
Ho ho ho all you sinners and sodomites! We’re jumping the shark with a Christmas special! Made even more special by Josh’s mom, Jill, who stopped by as our first guest. We review Kirk Cameron’s Christmas shit-show “Saving Christmas” and discuss “Christmas with the Chosen: the Messenger”. With such as thorough title, will it be as thorough with the …
 
Jesus jumps from twelve years old to thirty years old without any apparent need to inform us about his formative years. Did he get acne? Or surprise boners? {Insert raising Lazarus joke here} Did he get his Masters in Divinity from ITT Tech? Also, we quickly struggle with how to organize stories that take place at different times in all the gospels…
 
Merry Christmas, sinners & sodomites! In this week’s episode we dive into the gospels with the birth of our lord and savior. A story so vital and so foundational to the religion that it only appears in two of the gospels. But that’s ok, because in the two we have the stories line up perfectly, with minor exceptions for the time, place, events and p…
 
While reading Genesis in our first several episodes, I noticed odd things. The same stories repeated, stories with inconsistent details, and conflicting commandments. Things I’m sure I noticed growing up as a Christian, but I wrote off as a lack of biblical knowledge on my part. I started doing research into what modern science and scholars can tel…
 
Does God only love a few thousand people? Is there a second set of Ten Commandments? Is Moses getting exposed to high doses of radiation? Is Aaron getting bullied into building bull gods? All these questions and more go unanswered in this week’s episode. God asked to talk to Moses, bulls need to be killed. Time for blood magic. After spraying the c…
 
We get to the actual exodus in this episode, wherein the Israelites exit Egypt. But first they need to fake out Pharaoh so God can kill more Egyptians. Much like the Ever Given, God parts the Suez Canal and causes a serious mess for international trade. Oh yeah, and needlessly kills people. But it’s fine, because it’s so people know that God has gl…
 
Here it is, folks. The plagues! You know. That time when God wiped out a whole bunch of people instead of just letting Pharaoh do the right thing. And why? Because they wanted to get Pharaoh’s dick hard… I MEAN HEART! Or do I? We learn why the NIV bible’s footnotes seem to think you didn’t need God for most of the plagues to have happened at all. T…
 
Things have been looking grim for the Israelites since the days of Joseph. God has allowed their chosen people to fall into slavery because… reasons. But then came Moses. We’ll dig into Moses’ mom’s scheme to get paid to take care of her son. His trip through the desert which will later take him 40 years to get through. And the gay power-couple who…
 
And on the fifth episode we wrapped up the story of Joseph. And the story was mediocre, at best. You know that awkward moment when you run into that brother you sold into slavery who is now a super successful right-hand ruler of Egypt? We’ve all been there, and thankfully the bible provides relevant moral lessons when in such a circumstance. We sta…
 
You’ve seen the musical, now hear the disturbingly disappointing actual story of Joseph and his Technicolor Dream Resume. In this dramatic re-imagining of Rudolf, the Red Nosed Reindeer, Jacob’s favorite son is the little tattle tale all his brothers love to hate. Remember, kids. Snitches get thrown in a cistern and sold into slavery! Tired of hear…
 
Like every youth pastor has said since 2001, Shrek wasn’t the first to go bonkers from a talking donkey. Meet Balaam. A pagan prophet with a reverence for God. A conman with the night time number to the Almighty. The misunderstood messenger who only does what God tells him and somehow ends up the bad guy. Buckle up for some holy whiplash, folks. Go…
 
We pick the story up where we left off in Genesis 30. Jacob is married to his two cousins, and tricked into working seven additional years by his uncle / father-in-law. Jacob adds a few servant wives who start cranking out sons like it’s their only purpose. We learn the fair price for mandrakes when selling them to your back stabbing sister. And Go…
 
We kick off this podcast with the story of Jacob. How do you succeed in life in BCE 1800 when you’re a 2nd born twin, and an indoor kid with a hairy jock brother? The answer is obviously damn good lentil stew. Also, lying. Also, marrying your cousins instead of Hittite women who annoy your parents. We learn the how to handle yourself in a foreign c…
 
Often we’re told that we need to read the bible. That it would cure us of our atheism. We’re told that the bible is perfect and all answers come from the bible. Welp, let’s take a look at what the bible actually says. Every week Josh summarizes stories from the bible that Linz is hearing for the first time. There’s no easy outs on this one. No one …
 
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