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Sex and Psychology Podcast

Dr. Justin Lehmiller

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The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com
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Future of Sex

Future of Sex

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Future of Sex podcast takes you inside the world of sextech, the emerging industry at the intersection of sexuality, technology, and what it means to be human in the middle of it all. Join host Bryony Cole as she talks to sextech’s leaders and experts, from sex therapists researching skin hunger, to Cannasexual™ entrepreneurs who are finding ways to bring CBD and sex together, to astrosexologists asking the tough questions like, Are We Allowed To Have Sex In Space?
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Many women don’t know what they really need to know about maintaining good vaginal health, which leads some of them to turn to products and practices that might do more harm than good. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to have a happy and healthy vagina. Specifically, we’ll explore how your lifestyle impacts your vaginal health, how to…
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Psychedelic use is at an all-time high among young adults. These drugs are used for many purposes, but often for sex. So let’s talk about “trippy” sex. In this episode, we’re going to discuss the sexual effects of several common psychedelics, the potential benefits and risks of these drugs, and what people who wish to combine sex and substances nee…
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A lot of people consume cannabis prior to sexual activity. But how exactly does cannabis affect sex, and what do you need to know about it? In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what the research says about how cannabis affects men’s and women’s sexual function and performance, the problems with a lot of the research on sex and cannabis, why ca…
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“Bromance” is a term that is often used to describe close friendships between men. These relationships contain elements of emotional intimacy, but physical intimacy may occur as well, such as cuddling. Sometimes there’s even a sexual component, such as when two male friends participate in a threesome together. In today’s show, we’re going to discus…
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What does it really mean to be “kinky?” It can be difficult to say because kink is a subjective term that means different things to different people. Kink can also be a fantasy, a practice, or even an identity. It’s time for a new way of thinking about kink that can capture all of this complexity. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the brand n…
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When romantic partners move in together, something they need to figure out is how to manage their finances. Will your money be shared or separate? And who will pay for what? These conversations can be tricky to navigate in general, but they become even more complex when you have multiple partners. In today’s episode, we’re going to dive into money …
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If you’ve never lived with multiple partners before, figuring out how to navigate this kind of situation can pose some challenges. For example, how do you determine where everyone will sleep? How do you navigate things like personal space, chores, and scheduling conflicts? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss practical tips on cultivating happy …
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We discussed sex tips for women in the previous episode, so today we have some tips for the guys. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include how to have stronger erections, what you need to know if you’re concerned about your penis size, as well as how to increase sexual pleasure. We’re also going to discuss common sexual concerns men have and how to…
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Female sexual pleasure is a topic that is not often covered in traditional sex education. In fact, it’s extraordinarily rare for the word “clitoris” to even be mentioned in sex ed! The unfortunate result is that many women (and their partners) never learn the information they really need to know. In today’s show, we’re diving into the sex ed you ne…
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Sex educators and researchers are often called upon to serve as expert witnesses in legal proceedings. This is particularly true in cases that center around kink or BDSM, consensual non-monogamy, and sexual or gender minorities. The job of the experts is to help judges and juries better understand the sexual issues at hand. In today’s show, I’m goi…
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A lot of us aren’t getting what we really want in bed. For example, there might be certain positions, activities, or techniques that you prefer or enjoy, but you aren’t quite sure how to ask for them. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to get more of what you want. Some of the topics we’ll explore include practical tips for sharing y…
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Sexual conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. It’s virtually impossible for partners to always be erotically in synch with one another at all times over the course of many years together. That’s why everyone fights about sex from time to time. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the most common sexual conflicts that arise in long-te…
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Today, more people identify as LGBTQ+ than ever before. However, this is largely due to a big increase in the number of persons identifying as bisexual. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into a recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research that investigates the rise in bisexuality over time. We’ll discuss different ways of defining an…
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The penis doesn’t always do what you want it to do. For example, sometimes you might want an erection but can’t get one, or maybe you’ll reach orgasm faster than you’d like. These things happen. But when does a penis problem cross the line into becoming a sexual difficulty in need of treatment? That’s what we’re going to be exploring today. We’re g…
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How much do you know about the penis? You may think you already know everything there is to know, but you probably don’t. That’s why today’s episode is going to dive into what you don’t know about the penis. Some of the topics we’re going to cover include the immense variability that exists in penile sensitivity and sensation, as well as what we kn…
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Was it consensual kink or sexual abuse? This question is at the heart of a growing number of legal cases. Unfortunately, people sometimes try to claim consensual kink as a cover for sexual violence, a trend my guest today refers to as “the bogus BDSM defense.” In this show, we’re going to dive into a few recent cases where the bogus BDSM defense ha…
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When people become nonmonogamous, they don’t always stay nonmonogamous for life. Sometimes people decide to take a temporary break from it. Other times, people stop practicing it altogether because it’s just not what they want or need anymore. Maybe they only want to pursue one relationship right now, or perhaps they just want to be single. So what…
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A common theme in many people’s sexual fantasies is being “forced” to have sex. In the world of kink, this is widely known as consensual non-consent (CNC). So why is this such a popular sexual interest? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the psychology behind it. We’re also going to delve into some of the political aspects of CNC fantasies and…
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People have the potential to develop fetishes for virtually anything. If you can think of it, somebody probably has a fetish for it! However, fetishes remain among the most misunderstood and stigmatized sexual interests. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the world of fetishes and dispel some common misconceptions about them. We’ll also d…
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Imagine for a moment that your partner told you they had a sexually transmitted infection. What should (and shouldn’t) you say or do in that situation? That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this episode: tips for navigating a partner’s STI disclosure. Some of the topics we’ll explore include tips for keeping the conversation productive and…
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A lot of people find it hard to talk to their partners about sex in general. But discussing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) specifically can be even more challenging. It is such a fraught topic that many people who have STIs don’t even tell their partners. That’s why I’ve put together a two-part series for you on STI disclosure. In today’s s…
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“Life is short, have an affair.” That’s the tagline of Ashley Madison, the infamous online dating service that caters to married people who are looking to commit infidelity. Ever since its launch in 2002, it has been the subject of endless controversy, culminating in a widely reported data breech in 2015. A Netflix documentary series titled Ashley …
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MILFs are having a moment. Sexy moms have been a fixture in the popular media for decades, but they’ve never been more popular than they are now. So what’s behind the appeal of the MILF? And is all of the attention they’re receiving objectifying or empowering to women? Today, we’re going to trace the history of hot moms in the popular media and exp…
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Physical intimacy is one of the keys to maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships. But I’m not just talking about sex. Non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so! In today’s show, we’re going to explore why touch is so powerful and tips for introducing more touch into your relationships. We’ll also discuss why, paradox…
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Most people say that they find oral sex to be a pleasurable activity, but that doesn’t mean that people always enjoy giving or receiving it. A quick search on social media reveals countless posts from people reporting on bad experiences with oral sex, so let’s talk about how to have better oral. In today’s show, we’re going to explore tips and tech…
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Did you know that July 31 is National Orgasm Day? That’s right—there’s actually a holiday dedicated to the big O! Unfortunately, we don’t get the day off of work, but we’re going to celebrate anyway. In commemoration of National Orgasm Day’s impending arrival, we’re going to be talking all about orgasms today. In this show, we’re going to revisit o…
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Social media is increasingly where people are turning in order to learn about sexual health, from dealing with sex problems to coping with infertility. But is it giving us accurate information? Not so much. In today’s show, we’re going to tackle sexual health misinformation on TikTok and Instagram. We’re going to dive into what the science really s…
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A growing number of men seem to be in a panic about their testosterone levels. Social media platforms are full of posts from guys who are convinced that they don’t have enough of this hormone in their bodies and that their sex and dating lives are suffering because of it. The result is that more and more men are seeking to boost their testosterone,…
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For today’s show, we’re diving into more listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with falling asleep during sex and/or foreplay. Is that normal? And what are the reasons why that might happen? The second question involves whether premature o…
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Stuck in a dating rut? It might be time for a new approach! In today’s show, we’re going to learn how to master the art of mindful dating, which involves taking a more intentional approach to relationship development. We’re going to explore the six pillars of mindful dating and how to put them into practice. We will also discuss tips for cultivatin…
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When you take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure or happiness, this is known as compersion. It’s a form of positive empathy that many people in non-monogamous relationships experience. However, some people seem to have an easier time feeling compersion than others. So can it be learned? And should compersion always be a goal in non-monogamy? Let’s…
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It turns out that many of the things we think we know about sex aren’t entirely true. So let’s set the record straight and explore what we do and don’t know about sex and the human body. For today’s show, we’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations of all time, my interview with Dr. Lisa Dawn Hamilton that originally aired back in episode 53.…
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From the vampires and werewolves in Twilight to Bigfoot to the beast from Beauty and the Beast, it turns out that a lot of people are turned on by the idea of getting it on with a monster. But why is that? Where do these attractions come from in the first place? In this episode, we’re going to explore the rich psychology that helps to explain why m…
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When I studied the sex fantasies of thousands of Americans for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 33% of adults had fantasized about a monster or mythical creature before, such as a vampire, werewolf, or demon. Clearly, some people find monsters to be seriously sexy. So why is that? I have a two-part series for you on monstrous desire. In …
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Sex toys and sexual wellness products for men have long been stigmatized, but it’s time to change that. There are numerous products on the market that have the potential to help men improve their sexual health and performance, and that includes penis pumps! In today’s episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into these devices. We’ll talk about how p…
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In recent years, the pelvic floor is a topic that has received increased attention in the popular media. However, discussions of pelvic health tend to focus mostly on women. Male pelvic health is important for us to talk about, too, so that’s what we’re going to be discussing today. In this show, we’re going to speak with a pelvic doc for the lowdo…
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When it comes to having sex, there are a lot of “rules” that what we’re supposed to follow. But many of those rules contradict one another, making it hard to know what to do. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss whether we should even be following the “rules” of sex in the first place. We’re also going to explore how to increase your sexual self…
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A lot of the relationship advice littering every corner of the internet tries to distill love into a simple set of “rules.” It’d be nice if things were that easy, but they aren’t! It’s time to ditch the so-called “rules” of relationships because they might be getting in the way of our ability to find love. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about…
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Anal sex (and how to make it pleasurable) is one of those topics that people usually have to figure out all on their own. So think of today’s episode as the all-you-need-to-know guide to good anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include what you need to know about anal douching, how to choose the right lube, tips for preparing and relaxing so…
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Anal sex is something humans have been practicing for thousands of years. However, is has long been shrouded in taboos, which has led to the proliferation of a lot of myths and misconceptions. In today’s show, we’ll be discussing common things people get wrong about anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include the myth of anal sex as “gay sex…
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It’s Masturbation Month, so today’s episode is going to be all about self-pleasure! The origins of Masturbation Month date back to 1995, when US Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and something that should perhaps be taught in sex ed. Elders’ comments set off a political firestorm that …
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For today’s show, we’re diving into listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with sensory changes that happen upon reaching orgasm. It seems that some people experience temporary sensory disruptions following climax, including changes in hear…
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Modern psychology has a very complicated relationship with gender. Gender differences have become one of the most contentious areas in the field, and it seems like psychology isn’t entirely sure what to do with men anymore. This is especially true for heterosexual men, who are often viewed through a pathological lens. So in today’s show, we’re goin…
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A lot of sex advice boils down to one popular idea: that good sex is simply a matter of combining the right physical sensations with the right kind of mental activity. In other words, great sex is just friction plus fantasy. However, it’s more complicated than that. To have really great sex, we need to start by understanding the true nature of the …
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Sex is something that evolves with us over the course of our lives. Your level of desire, the connection you have with your partner(s), and what feels good during sex can all shift quite a lot. However, despite all of these ways that sex tends to change, most of us are expecting that it will stay the same, and that’s where problems arise. In today’…
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Most sexual problems don’t require intensive therapy to solve because, more often than not, the root cause is a lack of sex education. Most of us never really learned what we need to know about sex or about our own bodies, which makes it all to easy for us to think that there might be something wrong with us when there really isn’t. So in today’s e…
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It’s STI Awareness Month, so let’s take some time to brush up on our knowledge of sexually transmitted infections. You may think you already know everything there is to know, but trust me, you don’t! In today’s show, we’re going to discuss some surprising and lesser-known facts about STIs that challenge the conventional wisdom. For example, is some…
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In the previous episode, we talked all about how psychedelics can help in treating sexual problems. In this episode, we’re going to dive into the ethical and legal considerations of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. For example, how does consent work when patients are under the influence of a psychedelic drug? Likewise, how do therapists maintain a…
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We’ve long known that psychedelics have the potential to help treat various mental health issues, but researchers are starting to take notice of the potential therapeutic applications of these drugs for dealing with sexual difficulties. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the small but growing world of psychedelic-assisted sex therapy. Som…
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The term “ethical gangbang” probably sounds like an oxymoron to a lot of folks. Can a gangbang really be ethical? Let’s talk about it! In today’s show, I’m speaking with a porn director whose latest film features an ethical gangbang. Some of the topics we’ll dive into include how things like consent and safety are managed when filming a group sex s…
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