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Each week Steve Perryman provides a player's perspective on key games from the past against Spurs’ upcoming opponents, with contributions from fans, teammates and ex-managers. Cover art by @printsbypablo. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Happy Foot Sad Foot

Travis Helwig, Darren Miller, Vince La Rosa

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The best LAFC podcast named after a sign in front of podiatrists office that closed like three years ago. Hosted by comedy writers Travis Helwig and Darren Miller, this podcast is the easiest way for new fans to fall in love with our club, and the most fun place for current LAFC fans to keep up with the team. We’ll preview every match, have some post-game call in shows, and maybe play some games too. Happy Foot Sad Foot is your gateway drug to Los Angeles Football Club. Hosted on Acast. See ...
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As you know we have a running rule on this podcast that we don't speak of the team we are playing this week, so we don't do it! But Darren, Vince, and Travis do talk about all of the storylines around LAFC, including International Break, tired legs, and just what's going on with Atuesta. Then (TRIGGER WARNING!) we rank the worst Final losses in LAF…
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Wow! That game was dogshit. Travis, Vince, and Darren break down LAFC’s tired legs in a barn burner of a post-game show. We discuss a complete game from Latiff Blessing, Giroud frustrations, and just what’s going on with our midfield. Plus, a real live skeleton calls in! That’s sports baby! Join our Patreon and help us keep making this show Merch A…
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Okay, just for the record, we talk about piss a LOT in this episode, but THAT'S HOW YOU GROW THE GAME!!! Darren, Vince, and Travis break down everything about our 10th straight win against Seattle: Denis Bouanga's clear and obvious penalty, a pitch so beautiful you could hear it crunch, and a real fun and chaotic game after that terrible loss that …
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Darren and Vince dive into LAFC's US Open Cup semifinal against the Seattle Sounders. Can we immediately shake off our Leagues Cup Final loss and avoid choking in another tournament three days later? Will we even have the same roster to do it with? Can we maintain our ownership of the Seattle Sounders and be their Columbus Crew to LAFC's... Columbu…
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All around me are familiar faces Worn-out places, worn-out faces Bright and early for their daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you 'cause I find it hard to take When people run in circles, it's a very, very Mad wo…
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Lumen Field? More like LOL-men Field. The Black and Gold head up to Seattle for the second time in a month and come away with the exact same 3-0 score line. Travis and Vince break down Lewis O'Brien's debut, the fact Giroud has barely touch the ball, and just how incredible our backline has looked lately. Then, they discuss walkable cities, fight a…
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A LIVE PREVIEW SHOW? NOOOO!! Travis, Vince, and Darren take the one hour of free time they have this week, go live on youtube, and break down EVERYTHING you need to know about our Leagues Cup Quarter-Final against the Seattle Sounders, and boy is it sloppy. It's long, it's wrong, and there's a live storyline song! We talk Giroud on turf, the lack o…
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Maybe the most fun post-game pod ever? LAFC are through to the quarter-finals of Leagues Cup and Darren, Vince, and Travis are here to break the whole game down. We talk Giroud's debut, the quality of the field, the quality of Giroud's thighs, and then a bunch of people send us Super-Chats and we are giddy like school boys. Olivera, Duenas, Martine…
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Field was great. Crowd was great. Game was great. No complaints! Travis, Darren, and Vince start slow but ramp right into it after a fun (but ugly) win against a team we LOVE to beat: Austin FC. A buzzing crowd of 12,000 all tuned into our livestream to hear us talk about Olivera's goal, Martinez' struggles, and Murillos time to shine. Plus we talk…
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Giroud? Lloris? Griezmann? SACRE BLEU! Darren, Vince, and Travis break down everything you need to know about this whirlwind week in LAFC history. Giroud joins the squad. Griezmann is smoking cigarettes and looking at us longingly. And a guy named Lewis O'Brien shows up too! Plus we play a very fun game from TikTok to decide who is each of our favo…
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WELP! LAFC fields a questionable lineup, goes down 2-0, and somehow comes back with two goals in the last few minutes of the match to send it to PKs, which they were doomed to lose with Romero in goal (sorry), but it was enough to clinch a spot in the knockout stage of Leagues Cup. Crazy ending. Vince joins the postgame from Pepsi Plaza at BMO Stad…
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LAFC opens up their Leagues Cup group stage with a 3-0 win vs Club Tijuana. A sloppy match you can't be mad at when the xG is high, the goals are high, and the sheet is CLEAN. But HONESTLY? This episode is lowkey cursed. We jinxed Aaron Long's solid performance throughout the season thus far; we go down the rabbit hole of a genuinely scary head (or…
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Good news: Travis is back! Bad news: Travis is back! Darren, Vince, and Travis break down everything you need to know about our group stage matches, fill out theirleagues cup brackets, and of course, talk about Vanni Sartini's fascination with Steve's Cherundolo. Plus, Travis lets us in on what he learned about football in Europe, and Vince explain…
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LAFC pull out a 3-0 victory with a pair of Bouanga Blasts and a Bogusz Banger to boot, not to mention some fantastic end-of-match saves from Hugo Lloris to maintain the clean sheet. And with a win like that, you know Friends Of The Foot will show up and show out. This was quite the celebration with the chat bumpin all night, and visits from LAFC Lu…
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LAFC looked exhausted in this one, and RSL came out with a lot of fight, and less bite than usual with no Chicho, and somehow we came out of it with a tie. We stole a tie? But also we could've stolen a win? But maybe we should have lost by a lot? Wtf was this match? We looked real good in our new kits, and looked real bad in every other way. Darren…
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With Travis on a football Rumspringa, Vince and Darren quickly solve all Copa America problems and get into LAFC problems, which, after a 5-1 trampling from Columbus... might not be so bad? Everyone else at the top of the table lost or tied and we are somehow left with the same Tightest of Tight Tables as before. How does the Supporter Shield race …
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With Travis fleeing just in time to miss this absolute shit show vs. Columbus, Darren and Vince break down what happened in this catastrophic loss vs. Columbus, instead of the revenge we were after. And by that I mean Vince breaks it down. Darren doesn't break things down. If anything he makes things more complex and convoluted, as a general rule. …
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Well, we certainly grew the game (girth-wise). It's HaFoSaFo After Dark and Vince, Darren, and Travis break down the incredible (?) victory against USL's top side New Mexico United. We talk about Martinez' up and down game, the truly great fans from New Mexico, and spend way too long begging US Soccer to not hire Steve Cherundolo. Also the game too…
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Two games, one week, zero intelligent thoughts from our podcast. Darren, Vince, and Travis break down Diego Rossi's homecoming back to BMO which also just happens to be a re-match of the MLS Cup Final we all remember so fondly. Then they chat with Chris Walker, head of Black Diamonds, a BIPOC Supporter Group from New Mexico United, and he does hone…
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Do you hear that? In the distance? It's the sound of Galaxy's tifo slowly disintegrating at the Rose Bowl last year. Wait, what's that sound? It's the crack of a cooler smashing into a thousand pieces on Christmas Tree Lane. Oh no! What's that smell? Is that an LAFC fan defecating in the stands of BMO Stadium? That's right. We've made it. It's here…
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In honor of Mati Bogusz, here are the lyrics to the Polish national anthem: Poland has not yet perished, So long as we still live. What the foreign force has taken from us, We shall with sabre retrieve. March, march, Dąbrowski, From Italy to Poland. Under your command We shall rejoin the nation. We’ll cross the Vistula, we’ll cross the Warta, We sh…
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Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. Colorado Rapids Sporting Director Fran Taylor RETURNS TO THE SHOW before any LAFC front office member has come on once. Darren and him discuss their childhood memories, why Darren could have gone pro, and Vince asks him why the charts were wrong about Hugo Lloris. We break down all the storylines for this weeks mat…
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I heard you like goals, so we made the entire game out of goals! Kei Kamara breaks L*ndon D*novan's record. Tomas Àngel scores his first MLS goal. Polish Powerhouse Mati Bogusz gets a diving header brace. And best of all, Travis kissed Vince under the neon lights of Pepsi Plaza. It was a sloppy post-game for a beautifully unsloppy game. LAFC IS FIR…
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Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Kei Kamara > Landon Donovan Ted Unkel, retire freak Join our Patreon and help us keep making this …
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While Travis watches the Tony Awards (because he's at the Tony Awards), Darren cold-reads Travis' Austin FC and San Jose storylines: can LAFC win in Austin? Can they leapfrog RSL and take over first place in the West? Does anyone care about San Jose? Is it all a big ole' trap? Will Darren survive whatever Travis makes him read? IS AUSTIN WEIRD?????…
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When you're rollin, you're rollin. LAFC stole one this afternoon. With both teams playing pretty sloppy, Bouanga and Bogusz ATE to secure the win. Also Orlando blew it, including a missed PK that sailed over the goal and into the stands, which Darren made sure to compare to Baggio's World Cup breakdown and completely ruin Vince's night! With Travis…
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And we're back! LAFC sits just 3 points out of the lead in the West and only 96% humidity stands in their way! Vince, Darren, and Travis break down everything you need to know about this Saturday's match including Hugo's streak, Tillman's absence, and whether or not we knew Chanot was from Luxembourg. Plus, we play a game comparing Disneyland to Di…
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With Travis lost at sea, Darren is joined by Vince live outside BMO stadium after a SOUND 1-0 LAFC victory over FC Dallas, with our new look LAFC simply taking care of what is now business as usual, on a Pride Night at BMO with 10/10 vibes. Bouanga came through with maybe the easiest finish he's had all season off a beautiful pass from the hottest …
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Clean Sheet Watch CONTINUES with a beautiful 2-0 victory over tight table buddies Minnesota United, who turns out, might not be so good after all. Travis, Vince and Darren break down everything you need to know while the stream also breaks down in maybe one of the worst string of technical difficulties to pod has ever seen. We talked Pierogi SZN wi…
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Minnesota is near the top of the table. Dallas is... also on the table. Travis, Darren, and Vince breakdown everything you need to know about the match week, including why our defense is looking unstoppable, if Minnesota is a legit contender, and is Lizzo canceled. Then we play a World Famous Darren Miller Trivia Game where we find out just how con…
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Red Card Giveth. Red Card Taketh Away. Travis and Darren break down our SECOND league road win of the year, in a truly terrifying match up against a shook Atlanta squad. We talk Bogusz' beautiful goal and Bogusz' not so beautiful game. We talk Atuesta's affinity for yellow cards, and Dolo's affinity for never subbing him off. And as always, we spen…
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W E G R E W T H E G A M E!!!!!!! W E G R E W T H E G A M E!!!!!!! W E G R E W T H E G A M E!!!!!!! W E G R E W T H E G A M E!!!!!!! W E G R E W T H E G A M E!!!!!!! We are going to the quarterfinals baby!! Darren, Vince, and Travis (in a bathrobe) break down that BARNBURNER of a Lamar Hunt US Open Cup Match where we discuss everything: Tomás Ángel'…
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It's time to grow the game baby!!! Darren, Vince, and Travis are back breaking down BOTH games this week, starting first with the VERY IMPORTANT match against Loudoun United in the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup and then the tough road game against a weak Atlanta squad. We decide once and for all who should start for our defense, play a game about all the …
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Don't look now, but we're tied for second in the West. This game had everything: Hugo saved penalty, Bouanga Blast Boing Boing, questionable red card, and dozens of people wearing ravioli hats for some reason. Darren, Vince, and Travis break it down everything you need to know from this Wednesday 8am game. And they said we couldn't win on the road,…
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It's official: OLIVIER GIROUD IS BLACK AND GOLD and he's excited to play next to superstar Christian Olivera. Travis, Darren, and Vince break down LAFC's masterclass against Vancouver, the question mark hanging over The Smart Choice, and we only mention Vanni Sartini for 60 seconds! Then, we do a quarterly review of our pre-season predictions and c…
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The following is a quote from Mr. Goaltee himself Kiké Olivera: "I'm coming out I want the world to know, got to let it show I'm coming out I want the world to know, I got to let it show There's a new me coming out and I just had to live And I wanna give, I'm completely positive I think this time around, I am gonna do it Like you never knew it, oh,…
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It's our favorite time of the year: talking about the Vancouver Whitecaps!!!! We just LOVE to talk about that interesting team! Darren, Vince, and Travis break down everything you need to know about Hugo Lloris' struggles, who we might lose or gain this summer, and we answer a ton of listener questions. Plus, we spend like 3 hours talking about Van…
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Wow, we really did grow the game tonight, didn't we folks? LAFC flew out to Las Vegas, scored three times on a dirty pitch, and flew home with a feeling of deep regret and sorrow. Olivera got a brace, Romero got some playing time, and the stream was uploaded in 56k. As we all know, the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup is the most important trophy ever create…
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LAFC has raised the bar for just how low the floor can go in 2024. Ironically, the one bright spot of this match is that Olivera finally found the net! And the rest is a pit of darkness we waste no time diving into. Between callers venting, Heel Of The Foot Geoff Tock still finding new ways to be a true heel to us, the team, and even the rest of ou…
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Two matches in one week? What is this... 2023? Darren, Travis, and Vince are back with a DOUBLE EPISODE covering our Levi Stadium match up against the San Jose Earthquakes and the US Open Cup match up against a team with kiddie pools lining the stadium. We talk LAFC's surprisingly good April, we give all the players Vegas recs, and spend way too lo…
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Most fun livestream of the season! A hard fought game FINALLY goes our way as we remain unbeaten at home. Vince, Darren, and Travis break down a rollercoaster of a match against the surprisingly good Portland Timbers. We got overconfident, then we got underconfident, and then we got normal confident. We talked Maxime v Hugo. We talked Olivera vs Ol…
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Despite LAFC's less than stellar performance throughout most of the game, they manage to steal a point from the team at the top of the table. We asked for lineup changes! We fucked around and found out, and in some cases what we found out was pretty good (Chanot), in some cases it didn't go so well (Bogusz, Segura), and in some cases, Aaron long sl…
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No, you're not dying. You just smoked too much before the 4/20 game this Saturday. Darren, Vince, and Travis break down everything you need to know about this weeks very high match up against MLS leaders Red Bull New York. Then we're joined by Keaton Cashier of the 42 Originals LAFC Supporter Group who talks about what a cannabis supporter group ac…
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PRO Giveth and PRO Taketh Away. Darren, Vince, and Travis break down a frustrating tie on the road that was needed, but still felt like a loss. We talk Palencia trying to fight Max, Bouanga's desperate need for anti-depressants, and even Crépeau getting a red to save us again. There are glimmers of hope with this squad, but is it time to change up …
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TONS OF NEW MERCH AVAILABLE AT HAPPYFOOTSADFOOTPOD.COM. Patreon subscribers get 15% off everything and exclusive access to our limited edition member only scarves! MLS Player vs Pokemon is back! Darren, Vince, and Travis break down everything you need to know before watching our Portland match up. And don't worry, this episode has everything: Maxim…
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There is no joy in El Tráfico. Only relief. And boy was that true tonight. Darren, Vince, and Travis break down a must-win match up at home against a soaring Galaxy team, and this game had everything: great defense from our backline, a rock hard goal from Timmy, and Bouanga doing the least Bouanga thing we've ever seen. It wasn't the prettiest game…
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The drums are drumming. The tweets are tweeting. The coolers are crumbling. It's time for El Tráfico. Not only do we play the dumbest game in the history of this podcast, but Travis defends his Twitter meltdown, Vince explains why Carson is so good this year, and Darren gets a new nickname. It's the first El Tráfico where LAFC is the underdog, and …
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Well that one just absolutely sucked. Travis picked the perfect time to get knocked out with a concussion then jump on a plane to Hawaii. Darren did his own version of that after this postgame pod by taking his 6 year old son to Ikea for 4 hours, BUT FIRST! Darren and Vince detail the construction and subsequent destruction of LAFC's house of cards…
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RED ALERT! TOM BOGERT IS ON THE POD TO TALK ABOUT OUR NEW FRENCH SIGNINGS! RED ALERT! Travis, Darren, and Vince break down everything you need to know about our new French boys, discuss just how back with think the team is, and Travis bonks his head really hard and goes into concussion protocol. Folks... it's a WEIRD ONE! Join our Patreon and help …
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