E359 – Inner Voice: A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan Zeine and Faust Ruggiero about how to manage your anger

Inner Voice - Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan

E359 – "Inner Voice: A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan Zeine." In this episode, Dr. Foojan Zeine chats with Faust Ruggiero. He has been a psychologist in private practice for over thirty-five years. Before entering private practice, he worked in clinics for deaf children, prisons, nursing homes, substance abuse centers, and inpatient facilities. He is also a consultant for major national and international corporations. He is a published research author and a professional clinical trainer. In the summer of 2016, he began to develop The Fix Yourself Empowerment Series based on the Process Life Program to help readers address difficult life situations. The series currently includes The Fix Yourself Handbook, The Fix Your Anxiety Handbook, and The Fix Your Depression Handbook, and this episode will talk about his latest book, The Fix Your Anger Handbook. www.faustruggiero.com

The doctor commended Faust's book, "Fix Your Anger Handbook," which provides strategies to manage different types of anger. Faust shared that he wrote the book after 35 years of counseling, and the pandemic-induced rise in anxiety, depression, and anger led him to expand its reach. The doctor appreciated Faust's approach of presenting complex concepts in short, actionable steps, emphasizing the importance of Faust's multifaceted explanation of anger.

Dr. and Faust discussed the complexities of anger, focusing on its underlying causes and its impacts on communication. They noted that anger is often a result of deep-seated fears and insecurities, which can lead to habitual and subconscious expressions of anger. Faust emphasized the importance of understanding the triggers and connectors of anger and advised people to use their intellect to control and channel their anger in productive ways. Dr. highlighted how people often become aware of their passive-aggressive tendencies only after others feel their impact. Both agreed that uncontrolled anger, whether explicit or passive, is not a sign of power but instead of fear and insecurity.

Faust expressed frustration and the tendency to cope with stress through internal anger, a pattern he recognized as standard. Dr. shared her experiences with using anger as a coping mechanism and how it can provide a sense of power. Faust further discussed the adverse effects of this cycle, including tension and physical discomfort. Both emphasized the need to improve communication and express emotions more healthily. The concept of being unable to control one's reactions was also discussed, with Faust suggesting that individuals must take responsibility for their feelings.

Faust and Dr. discussed the importance of understanding and managing one's emotions, particularly anger. Faust highlighted the need to explore the root causes of adverse reactions and support those struggling to control their anger. Dr. shared her experiences with suppressing emotions, which later manifested in other ways, and stressed that honoring and acknowledging one's anger is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships. Both agreed that managing anger is not always straightforward, but progress can be made with guidance and self-reflection.

Faust shared his experiences working as a prison counselor, highlighting how people, despite their flaws, can still be good. He then discussed the concept of righteous anger, stating that it often arises from insecurity and a need for attention. Dr. echoed Faust's views, emphasizing that righteous anger doesn't necessarily bring peace and sanity to the world. Both agreed that deep engagement and action are critical in addressing issues rather than being verbally righteous.

The doctor shared how they learned to acknowledge anger as an emotion but not dwell on it, realizing excessive rumination was unhealthy. Faust emphasized the importance of physical self-care, such as proper diet, reducing substances like caffeine, and maintaining stable sleep and exercise routines to address anger's root causes and create space for more positive habits.

Faust emphasized the importance of managing emotions, particularly anger, through a rational and mindful approach. He stressed that individuals should prioritize their intellect over their feelings and that anger should be a secondary response, not the initial one. Faust also highlighted the significance of incorporating breathing exercises and meditation into daily routines to promote a more peaceful way of life. Dr. agreed with Faust's points, noting the connection between physical states like hunger and stress and emotional responses like anger.

Managing Emotions and Handling Anger

Dr. and Faust discussed the importance of managing one's emotions and how to handle other people's anger. Dr. emphasized the need to view emotions as part of a bigger picture and to remain calm in various situations. Faust shared his strategy of anticipating potential anger-inducing situations and preparing a response to avoid getting reactive. Both agreed that avoiding arguments and practicing logical communication can lead to better outcomes, even in difficult situations. However, they acknowledged that implementing these strategies can be challenging.

Faust and Dr. discussed the importance of dealing with anger constructively and peacefully. Faust emphasized that people can control their anger and should focus on positive self-talk to minimize outbursts. Dr. added that individuals should be taught to recognize the early signs of anger and remove themselves from potentially violent situations. They also stressed that seeking help, such as counseling or reading self-help books like "Fix Your Anger Handbook," is a sign of strength, not weakness. Both agreed that anger can be managed and overcome with the right mindset and support.