05. Prayer Series: How to Forgive Someone with Callie & Maddie

Fielder Church Podcast

Link to Full Sermon "Prayer is Power for Forgiveness"

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

Matthew 18:19-20 "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Hebrews 12:14-15 "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled."

Acts 3:19-20 "Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

How to Pray Leading Up the the Meeting:

1. Pray blessing over the other person and their spouse. (Matthew 5:43-48)

2. Pray that God will reveal to you the wrong you have played in the relationship.

3. Pray that God would reveal to us where the initial hurt originated

Before you confront someone ask yourself:

1. Have I prayed continuously about this situation?

2. What are my motivations in wanting to talk to this person?

3. Do I want God’s purposes more than I want my own?

4. Do I want this person to be benefitted from what I say?

5. Is it going to break my heart to tell them this truth as much as it will break their heart to hear it?

6. Am I putting this person down in any way, placing judgment, or assuming motives?

7. Am I trying to win an argument?

8. Could I have false assumptions or perceptions placed on me by another person or by Satan about this person?

9. Check your emotions and seek to understand “why” you feel a certain way towards that person or their situation.

Have you gone to someone other than that person about the situation?

1. Don’t bring in friends that know them – mutual friends are a breeding ground for gossip. It is okay to seek counsel from a mentor or trusted friend, just don’t make it multiple friends or mutual friends.

2. You should be praying about this situation more than you are talking to other people about it.

3. Consider the “24 hour rule” – address it with that person within 24 hours of talking with another friend about the situation.

4. Check your assumptions!

5. Remind yourself that if you go into the conversation thinking you already understand how someone feels or thinks, you are walking in pride and need to humble yourself. Never assume anything, instead take ownership of your feelings and don’t be too proud to acknowledge where you might be in the wrong or disillusioned because of your assumptions.

What to Say in a Reconciliation Meeting:

1. Be specific.

2. Be candid. Don’t sugar coat it.

3. Resist the temptation to be emotionally worked-up. Your tone matters

4. Take 100% responsibility for your part of taking up the right of offense.

5. Ask them for forgiveness for your part and extend forgiveness to them. (be willing to say these 3 phrases. “I am sorry” “I was wrong” “Please forgive me”

6. We not going to leave until we had said everything we needed to say.

Have a question about prayer or forgiveness? www.fielder.org/podcast