Season 3 Episode 7: Understanding and Validating Survivors' Acts of Resistance

Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel

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Too often conversations about domestic violence define survivors as passive trauma survivors with the emphasis on the negative mental health and addiction consequences of the perpetrators' patterns of behavior. And while these impacts are real they only tell part of the story. On a daily basis, survivors engage in small and large acts of resistance to coercive control & domestic violence. Based in their knowledge of the perpetrator, their assessment of the system and available supports, survivors engage in targeted strategic actions that are important to their own safety and the safety and well being of their children. Not just passive recipients of abuse, survivors actively use a variety of behaviors to carve out physical and emotional "safe zones" a term coined by Dr. Evan Stark, author of Coercive Control. These acts of resistance can include:

• Lying the the perpetrator
• Defending their children from abuse
• Fighting back physically
• Standing up for what they and their children need

They can include ways to defy the perpetrators' rules or places in the survivor's mind where she fantasies about freedom or retreats into her mind when he is abusing her .

In this episode Ruth and David discuss:

• how these acts of resistance are often decontextualized from the perpetrators' pattern
• survivors acts of resistance, particularly survivors from Black, Indigenous and other marginalized communities, often criminalized
• the importance of professionals recognizing these acts of resistance as part of the process of partnering with survivors and avoiding failure to protect practice

David & Ruth also showcase the audio from a video produced by Orana House, a refuge in Western Australia, called "Warrior Women" that showcases survivors' acts of resistance. Watch the video.

Join us in-person or online 18-20 March 2025 for the Safe & Together Institute Coercive Control and Children Conference. The event includes a family law track featuring judicial leadership, survivors and lawyers. Whether in Australia or across the globe, you will gain 12 month access to recordings of every session. Register now!

Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."
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