Season 3 Episode 13: What Domestic Violence Perpetrators Steal From Survivors

Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel

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When we think about domestic violence only in terms of what is added - violence and danger - instead of what is taken away (safety, self determination, quality of life), we fail at naming some of the most profound effects of domestic violence perpetrators’ behaviors on survivors. In this episode, David & Ruth talk about what survivors' often "lose" at the hands of domestic violence perpetrators.
In this episode:

• Stories of recent successes of the Safe & Together Model from around the globe
• The importance of Perpetrator Pattern mapping to accurate documentation of harm including what has been taken away

David & Ruth also talk about how survivors describe perpetrators stopping them from being the parent and the person they could've been. They offer up practical tips for practitioners about how to explore these losses including how to go beyond the question "are you afraid at home?" They also offer validations for survivors' experiences of loss and limits.

Other related episodes
Season 3 Episode 12 Weaponize & Fabricate: How Domestic Violence Perpetrators’ Behaviors Intersect With Survivors’ Mental Health And Substance Misuse Issues

Season 3 Episode 7: Understanding And Validating Survivors’ Acts Of Resistance
Season 2 Episode 12: How Coercive Control Harms Child Safety & Wellbeing: An Interview With Researcher Dr. Emma Katz
Join us in-person or online 18-20 March 2025 for the Safe & Together Institute Coercive Control and Children Conference. The event includes a family law track featuring judicial leadership, survivors and lawyers. Whether in Australia or across the globe, you will gain 12 month access to recordings of every session. Register now!

Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."
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