Gospels Pt. 3 – You Are About to be Tooken

Bible Stories for Atheists

In this episode we kick off finding out the bible (which is perfect) has conflicting genealogies for Joseph, Jesus’ step dad. And Josh blowing Linz’s mind that John 3:16 isn’t a verse about good sportsmanship.

When we finally dig into the story of Jesus we look at his first miracle! Such an important event would obviously be thoroughly documented in each of the gospels. Wait, no. Actually it’s just in one of them. And for his first miracle, obviously Jesus is going to do something crucial like heal someone or even raise them from the dead, right? Wait, no. Actually it’s just to restock the wine at a wedding. Oh well!

Then Jesus goes badass! No one turns religion into a profitable business on his watch. He busts up the money changers at the temple with a FUCKING WHIP! I wonder what Jesus would do in a mega church these days.

What does it mean to be born again? We get into a debate over the meaning behind the phrase. And Linz describes her use of that phrase as a noun such as, “Look out, there are born-agains heading this way!”

We do a deep dive into the story of Jesus and Samaritan woman, including looking into who Samaritans actually were and not just who the bible tells us they were. It seems Jesus was unaware of their actual history.

And Jesus starts casting out demons! We spend most of our time trying to figure out what they would have sounded like.

Happy New Year, folks! Let’s try to get through a January 6th being Christ-like for once!

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