Passport office, attempt #2. Donald Sutherland died. July is shaping up to be a helluva month, but June Is The Month For Me. (Hourglass)द्वारा Luke Allen

Id literally rather go to the DMV than get my haircut. (Why dont they cut your hair AT the DMV, let's get some shit done) Waba Grill is deceptively(ish) unhealthy. It's time for federal intervention into Chipotle. (Im generally a "small government" man, but this has gone too far.) A singles soiree with me and Gus 1. A misbegotten outing to see The …

Industry mixer, and a homeless man absconds with my phone. Adaptation at the Egyptian, and Rob's play Saturday night. Some Like It Hot, and others like parking tickets. Another wonderful haircut from Floyds barbershop. (Which will most likely be bankrupt in 5 years)द्वारा Luke Allen

De Niro: confirmed mook. "Now take me to jail." - D Trump. Tender Greens? More like Tender GROANS. Vinnie gets to write for Mike Tyson. I went to see Dick Tracy and a movie called Come And See, and I had two what Sallah from Indiana Jones would call "Bad dates."द्वारा Luke Allen

Predator 6, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. I was one of the 11 people that saw Furiosa this weekend, and I give my thoughts on it. I went to the Comedy Store a couple times, and witnessed Vincent Falcone have one of the amazing comedy set turnarounds I've ever seen. I had my car out for 6 hours, and you would think I had just driven across the fuc…

Coppola reaches his final form: Brando. When you cast someone who's supposed to be the younger version of them in a prequel, a good idea is to cast someone who looks absolutely nothing like them. Taxi Driver 2. Colin Quinn should moderate the presidential debate. Film nerd singles meet up. (It was about as successful as you'd imagine) Someone went …

Whoever changed the date of the May 11th Colin Quinn show at Largo almost inadvertantly killed me, and threw my life into utter upheavel and extreme discomfort for several days. Ruminations on Fred "Murder" Murphy's comedy show. More like Larry CARE-azewski! Francis Ford Coppola's new movie trailer hit the wires, and you'll be shocked to know it lo…

A contentious relationship with Al R. Gees! LOL!! I saw The Fall Guy in "4DX," so you don't have to. A whimsical night with some of the Monster Squad. I met with the jew broad and it went absolutely nowhere.द्वारा Luke Allen

An afternoon in Gavin Newsom's California. I want to dig a hole in my face and set fire to it, just to destroy my awful sinuses. A weekend of galivanting with Penis Powers & Rocha. The Rock knows how to "piss everyone off," LOL!!! Night court. (Maybe)द्वारा Luke Allen

More like QUITTIN Tarantino! 28 Years Later. Civil War. (the movie) Fallout on Amazon. Alec Baldwin getting harassed. Rob's show, and Saturday night shenanigans. Still chasin Chasin!द्वारा Luke Allen

45, still alive! I breakdown my illustruous birthday, and fabulous trip to the Ronald Reagan Library over in Simi Valley, among other celebratory activities. Blood test aftermath. The final Curb Your Enthusiasm episode was almost fascinatingly bad. Tulsa King background drama update/interesting turn of events. Interacting with a maniac on the Game …

Behind the scenes drama! The phantom horn of Sweetzer avenue. I watched a guy leafblow the grass and a pile of dirt. (I wish I was kidding) Lucky Brand jeans are wonderful, but fuck their shallow ass pockets. Why don't you leave well enough Stallone. Old Hollywood tales/research and screenwrite-y bullshit.…

Fast food? More like fast FEUD. More like chicken pad DIE. Another lovely leafblower. Ants askance. More highly productive and emotionally fulfilling Los Angeles women/dates, I promise you I totally won't die alone if I stay here. Got to meet Machete! Dune Two. (Fremen? More like FROWNIN)द्वारा Luke Allen

If I thinks it, I jinx it. Beetlejuice 2 trailer just dropped, and so did your expectations. Caf-fiend. When ISIS claimed the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, it was "mysterious." But when they claimed the Russian opera shooting this week, it was unquestionably accepted. The Chimneysweep closed. The Door Guy show at the Comedy Store, part 2. Dr Rob Banks s…

I thought I'd said everything I had to say about the ride home last episode, but one more pleasant surprise awaited me: 65mph winds, for 30 miles! Yay! People that don't reset clocks after a time change deserve a Sisyphus-esque fate, for all eternity. (Wait til I get into dishwasher etiquette) The robber and the laundromat screamer. (That sounds li…

I drove 3000 miles in 6 days, Los Angeles to Montana & back, to work with/facilitate a music video shoot there. It was a challenging yet visually resplendent affair.द्वारा Luke Allen

A Lukie complaining "perfect storm" at the DMV. Shocking news on the Chipotle front. I took a bullet; a MAGIC BULLET, LOLL!! Austin Butler in Heat 2? ("tWoOo?!") The Las Vegas shooting is the most flagrantly, sloppily, and inexplicably covered up event in United States history; "NBD!" (as the kids say) North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Mon-roe.…

The little LA flourishes that make it such a delight to live here! Dubai? More like Du-BYE, to that opportunity. (Good job, dummy) Doing favors for people always ends up fucking you in the motion picture business, and I still do it. Underappreciated skill: traffic helicopter narrator guy. Eric Rocha at the West Covina Laugh Factory, and going to se…

The middle ages. The Normand conundrum. More like BOOO Detective. The politics of bush. Coalesce is back(?) The fall of Grimace. Bank Of America broke my heart.द्वारा Luke Allen

Not Grateful for Larry's script. Shakedown at the DMV. What's the point of mall security guards? After the rain! A night at the Store, with Grimace. Thursday at the Observatory, the worst music venue in southern Californiaद्वारा Luke Allen

They say "the rain in Spain makes Lukie complain." Jacket fever. Dolemite Is My Name screening in Gardena, at the theater that's in the scene-a. Kickin it with Grimace. Love won and lost in LA.

A most unusual day in the city of Angels. Hot chick apocalypse. Leap year is gay. Starbucks oatmeal. Lenny Kravitz is lucky to be alive. The Door Guy show at the Comedy Store Friday night, and bittersweet reunion with thespian Scott Murphy, as we become the victims of more Los Angeles customer service ineptitude.…

Complicated orange. Blueberry scamcakes. Mail-adjusted. The China(wo)man is the issue here. Another fulfulling and totally worthwhile Bumble date. The Donut King. 0 for 3 on "not weirdo/noisy neighbors" so far in 1.5 years of living here. My two cents on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelcie, I weigh in like everyone else-y. True Detective, Dark Country. …

"The crossroads episode!" (I miss my uncle Charles, y'all) Fed Ex, bloody Fed Ex. Door Drash drama. $48 haircut. Mr Destiny as theft deterrent. New Studio A. The comedy show in Bellflower. One expensive Asian titty.द्वारा Luke Allen

First mic (eh, dude-) of 2024 in the books, and boy it was a doosy! What an uplifting experience. Rest of the Buffalo trip wrap up, and ruminations on the guy that came up with the idea of the toilet seat disposable sheet covers.द्वारा Luke Allen

Can you believe it...I got a cold! In Buffalo! Who saw this coming! (At least my grandpa guts have settled down) "City Services" showed up for that abused kid a couple episodes ago. The flight to JFK, New Years Eve and New Years Day. Walden Galleria Mall anxiety showdown. The Union/Integrity/Despair show, and a fully clothed escapade at a chick's h…

Merry Christmas, and hello Mystery Illness II. (Right on time!) Christmas day, travel, a few LA things. Texas Roadhouse stinks. The Tim Dillon/Rogan episode was great. (Onto Buffalo...)द्वारा Luke Allen

Could there be a PRO-Luke rebel faction Bureau™ operating in Los Angeles?? "Hit Me Baby One More Time?" Stop bothering Shaq by letting him buy you things. The Wrestlers doc on Netflix, Leave The World Behind on Netflix, and another fulfulling and totally worthwhile Hinge date.द्वारा Luke Allen

The locquacious Lukester is coming at ya, with a dramatic and action-packed two parter. Talk about a stocking stuffer!! LOLLL!!!!! We begin somewhat heavy with a dramatic child welfare incident outside of Gold's Gym Venice, where I desperatel wish the Punisher was real. I went to the "Roast Of LA" 'comedy' show with the mighty T Dog, and share my t…

Rap metal was a thing once. 265...the kid's still alive! I spilled whiskey on my balls, and it burned. (Don't..let that happen to you) Mission Impossible 2; more like Dougray NOT! Netflix can't even make a documentary about fuckin Pepsi and not manage to malign Trump. I got thrown on a last minute show on Saturday; did I prevail? FIND OUT! I saw In…

Un-Hinge'd. I don't know what's more dreadful, a bad date, or a bad band practice session. Shitbit. If you're anything more than a 3rd car going through a yellow to red light, a Dr Strange portal to hell should open underneath and suck all proceeding cars into hell. Formica. Don't get each other anything for Christmas this year, we're fucked. Gelso…

Thanksgiving, 2023! Thanksgiving, the movie. Planes Tranes & Automobiles. (Also the movie) Worst era of fashion in LA history? Things that annoy me on dating apps: shitty dogs, and pretending you go to the farmers market on Sunday. (You dont) Another totally reasonably priced Hinge date, and hot stuff Eric Rocha doing the main room at the Comedy St…

Neil (not so) Young. JFK hangover. Chocolate cookie grenade. "Welcome in," and "full stop." Divine interventions, and the LA Fitness girl. Things that aggravated me on other podcasts again: Theo Von, and The Opportunist.द्वारा Luke Allen

Episode 422, "The Harkening." I harken back to Rob telling me "everyone gets afraid, dummy." (It's Not Just You, Murray!) I have to watch out for "Drum fever." I harken back to when I said I thought The Marvels was gonna bomb, and it did. I harken back to the motion picture Lethal Weapon 2, and discover they go to my Subway in it! I harken back to …

I can't get no re-leaf. "Cinema X." Succulent Chinese Meal guy is innocent (he's innocent) The 6' jew photographer. Semi-annual "I quit comedy" existential crisis (and percussion purchase) Cam's show at the Two Roads.द्वारा Luke Allen

Weed. Show prep. Re: Union. Toe-tal chaos. Halloween, Part I&2. South Park still fucks shit up.द्वारा Luke Allen

It's weird that a president has never really had a drinking scandal in our entire lifetime, or even seem to appear drunk in the public view. The bar show at the (not so) Good Nite. I saw Say Anything at the Regent. It was sweet Eric's birthday Friday. Ralph's deli department should have been part of Dante's Inferno. Observations (and criticisms!) a…

Shows & shit. The Bouncing Souls extravaganza. The return of Studio A. Swing & a miss on 285. Somewhow I still find fulfillment at open mics? Wtf. "Police Drone In Use." The Creator.द्वारा Luke Allen

I got my Harley back after 3 months...or did I? Why is it so hard to get my lunch meat cut thick/the way I want it. I'd have a better chance at alchemy than getting lunch meat cut to my specs. I saw Converge with Bokes for the first time in over 20yrs; it went about as well as everything else did this fuckin' weekend.…

Wet handshakes. White knuckle weekend. Girls on dating apps think they're hilarious, but no one will tell them guys only pretend to laugh at everything they say because they want to see their butthole. (And other annoying LA dating profile attributes) A moderately revelatory week of stand up/open mic grindage. The lost Howard Stern cassette archive…

The human blinker! Gen Z are socially maladjusted weirdos, and I'm tired of them. A most unusual Hinge date. The Dope Show/comedy show in Venice Beach, and the valley hang after. (With famous comedian ________) Stand up low point for 2023, get your shit together. (Me, I'm talking to. Well, you too, maybe. Let's all kick ourselves in the ass) El Coy…

More like the Ice PICK House! LOL!! Fuck me for missing the Sparta tour. Most people are predictable, unfunny bores. Steak & a cigar Friday, like a real man. (Contrary to what my gym teacher thought of me) Open mics have been brutal lately, they feel more like a comedy study hall. More like Matt Rife-with-boring-personality. (See what I did there?)…

"Research," and night vision goggles that accidentally let you see into other dimensions, and shit. HBO has ads now (gtfoh), but I watched that Telemarketer documetnary and had some thoughts about it. The Opportunist pod-khaast. Titties & totalitarianism. I'd rather juggle scorpions than have to try to find a pair of size 12 sneakers in this city, …

A chip off the ol door. Zuma Beach, 2023: Attempt #4. My show at the 4th Wall Cafe Friday night. The Flash movie stinks, but it was nice to see Keats back as Bats. Jay Leno at Flappers. The Will Haven show, and the Slayer paradox.द्वारा Luke Allen

Wood Ranch? More like "WOULD Ranch, stay open past 9pm?" We need bullies. For heavens sake, Heavens Gate. Why do MRI machines seem like technology that hasn't progressed since 1968. Impromptu Improv. Hogan on Rogan. Metallica show at Sofi stadium. One of the worst dates I've ever been on.द्वारा Luke Allen

Id rather have a ghost in my house than cockroaches. More things that annoy me about my stupid rental car. (I promise, I think this is the last one) The hurricane, the earthquake, and the no-hawk. Three O'Clock High, and Talk To Me. (Also, f Brie Larson) Ishtar, DC Cab, and "a potential scene from a horror movie" in the parking lot. (After watching…

Lawdy lawdy, I hate this Audi. Nothing else mattress. Thumbs down (from afar) on the Pantera-ish show in Buffalo. Uncle Joe's card. The show Friday night, at Comedy Blvd. Ashoka trailer for Disney Plus. Road Dog & I went to see Falling Down at the (shittier) Aero.द्वारा Luke Allen

Emasculation through transportation. Pantera is playing in Buffalo as I record this, and I'm missing it. I hope I can get my mind right. The Chimneysweep jukebox is ruining my life. (And their profit margins) Chocolate Rain. Vicky Cristina Barcelona.द्वारा Luke Allen

Comedy Blvd Show, Take 2, Aug 11. Things are looking up after "Why, God, Why July," but someone had ONE last surprise in store for the Lukester! Au revoir, Pee Wee. August will be a damn good movie month. Biden's bag-flation(?) One less prick to deal with at the dentist's office, and a trip to the emergency room with my friend Jimmy. The Fighter ge…

Strawberry Bobo's update. Harley update. Rushing or dragging at the mics. The Sound Of Freedom, and The Feeling Of Obligation. 2nd job at Amazon, if they'd stop jerking me around. I wish "being forced to watch CNN" would have been the worst thing that happened to me at the gym Saturday. 0 for goddamn fucking 3 on "the beach."…