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Small Town News

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Small Town News

Small Town News

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Welcome to Small Town News, located at the intersection of hardcore journalism and jelly-filled comedy. Each episode we read articles from small town newspapers from around the United States and use them to inspire improv stories. We've got fireworks filled with rattlesnakes. We've got a parade of painfully bad accents. We've got no idea what states border Michigan. But no matter where the story ends, it's all 100% true. Promise. Check our sources. Seriously.
 
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Seaside, OR - We Complete the Opposite of a Bucket List 1:07:18

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Welcome to Seaside, Oregon! The area was originally developed as a summer resort in the 1870s by railroad magnate Ben Holladay. The town was officially incorporated in 1899 as Seaside. It continues to be a popular vacation site and offers all of the normal beach town activities. The area was also the final westward stop of the Lewis and Clark exped…
 
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Deming, NM - We Didn't Start the Dumpster Fire 57:27

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Welcome to Deming, New Mexico, "An Enterprise Community!" Located 35 miles north of the US-Mexico border, Deming was founded 1881 and was a major hub on the second transcontinental railroad. The Silver Spike was driven in Deming to commemorate the meeting of the Southern Pacific with the Rio Grande, Mexico and Pacific railroads. In recent years, se…
 
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Clewiston, FL - Big Dentistry Gets Serious About Baby Valley Lobsters 54:29

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Welcome to Clewiston, Florida, "America's Sweetest Town!" Located on the southern bank of Lake Okeechobee, the area was once used as a fishing camp by the Seminole. The first permanent settlement began around 1920 and quickly became known for its sport fishing. Sugar plantations were established in the area and became the leading industry in Clewis…
 
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Rolla, MO - Quiet Riot Has Helpful Tips for Senior Citizens 53:20

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Welcome to Rolla, Missouri, "The Middle of Everywhere!" Rolla was established in 1858 and is the seat of Phelps County. The first house was built in the area in 1842, and the railroad followed about a decade later. The town was the original terminus of the St. Louis-San Fransisco Railway, better known as the Frisco Line. Rolla developed into a tran…
 
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Tell City, IN - Little Petey Shakes Things Up at the Playground 58:01

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Welcome to Tell City, Indiana, where you can taste the good life! The town was founded in 1858 by a group of Swiss-German immigrants who wanted to obtain affordable homesteads where the inhabitants could live in harmony. The town was initially named Helvetia, but was soon changed to Tell City to make the name easier to pronounce for English-speakin…
 
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Wartburg, TN - We Barely Measure Up to the Joey Standard 53:37

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Welcome the Wartburg, Tennessee! The town was founded in the 1840s by George Gerding who planned to establish a series of German colonies in the region. The first settlers named the town after Wartburg Castle in Germany. The town became the county seat of Morgan County in 1870. The county is home to the Brushy Mountain State Penitentiary. The Barkl…
 
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Craig, CO - We Show Craig Some Deep Love 1:10:26

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Welcome to Craig, Colorado, the "Elk Hunting Capital of the World!" The town of Craig was incorporated in 1908 and was named for Reverend William Bayard Craig, one of the town's financial backers. Craig became the seat of Moffatt County when it was created out of the western portion of Routt County in 1911. Located in the Yampa Valley, the area was…
 
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Quitman, TX - Johnson Tells Us How It Went Down 52:34

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Welcome to Quitman, Texas, which marks our second time around all 50 states! Quitman was originally settled in 1850 and is the county seat of Wood County. The town was named for John A. Quitman who was elected governor of Mississippi that same year. Quitman is the birthplace of Academy Award winning actor Sissy Spacek. In addition to Spacek, the to…
 
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Van Buren, AR - The Chronicles of Steampunk Narnia 46:00

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Welcome to Van Buren, Arkansas, where history abounds! Located on the northern bank of the Arkansas River near the Oklahoma border, the area was originally settled by Europeans in 1818 just before the Arkansas became a territory in 1819. The town quickly became a popular port and trade center. The town was officially named Van Buren in 1831 when th…
 
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Pratt, KS - Coach Wallace Makes a Bad Example in The Wide Dark Yonder 57:59

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Welcome to Pratt, Kansas, Gateway to the High Plains! The town was founded in 1884 on a site that was once hunting grounds for the Kiowa tribe. The town is the county seat of Pratt County. Both the town and county were named after Caleb Pratt, a Union officer who was killed during the Civil War. The officer has no known connection to the area. Whil…
 
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Lovelock, NV - Werner Herzog Barters for a Didgeridoo 57:57

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Welcome to Lovelock, Nevada, known as the "Banana Belt" for its mild high desert climate and more than 230 days of sunshine each year. Originally called Big Meadows, the town sprang up at the midpoint of the Humboldt Trail to California. George Lovelock bought the squatters' right for the area in 1866 and town was ultimately names after him. The ra…
 
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De Ridder, LA - We Stage a Prom Accident at Space Mountain 57:35

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Welcome to De Ridder, LA, where they dwell in possibilities! Originally named Schovall, De Ridder was renamed in 1903 by Jan de Goeijen to honor his sister-in-law. De Goeijen was a railroad financier who brought the first train line to the town in 1897. By the end of 1898, the town consisted on nearly 300 people, a hotel, a sawmill, and several sto…
 
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Lewes, DE - Uncle Ted Get's Downsized From the Family 1:01:04

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Welcome to Lewes, Delaware, the first city in the first state! Located in southern Delaware on the Delaware Bay in Sussex County, Lewes was the site of the first European settlement in Delaware. Originally settled by the Dutch in 1631 and named Zwaanendael, the colony was wiped out by the Lenape in 1632. A second attempt was made in 1663 by the Dut…
 
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Mound, MN - Local Government Cracks Down on Cleopatra 2525 1:00:54

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Welcome to Mound, Minnesota, the birthplace of Tonka truck! The Village of Mound was settled in 1850s, but wasn't incorporated until 1912. The town derived its name from prehistoric burial mounds thought to be created between 300BC and 100AD. The mounds no longer exist, but were surveyed in 1883. In 1946, Mound Metalcraft was founded in the town an…
 
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Highlands, NC - Despite All My Rage, I Am Still Just a Nicholas Cage 59:50

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Welcome to Highlands, North Carolina! Situated in the Nantahala National Forest, the town's location was determined by the intersection point of lines drawn from Chicago to Savannah and New York to New Orleans in 1875 by Samuel Kelsey and Clinton Hutchinson. They were looking for a location that would serve as a "great trading center and commercial…
 
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California, MO - Lawyering From a Hot Dog Cart Gives Us the Bubble Guts 1:06:35

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Welcome to California, Missouri, small enough to know you, large enough to serve you!" Located in central Missouri, the town was founded in 1834 and was originally named Boonesborough. The name was changed to California in 1847 because there was already another Boonesborough in the state. The town is home to what is thought to be the oldest continu…
 
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Bluffton, SC - We Literally Go to Crazytown 1:05:23

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Welcome to Bluffton, South Carolina, the "Heart of the Lowcountry!" The area was first settled by Europeans in the late 1720s to build plantations, but the town was not incorporated until 1852. In the early 1800s, the first homes were built by plantation owners to escape from the unhealthy conditions on the rice and cotton plantations. Situated on …
 
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Wasilla, AK - Fast Times at the Corn Mush Palace with Legitimate Pilot Curly Ray 1:07:01

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Welcome to Wasilla, Alaska! In 1917 the US government planned the Alaska Railroad to intersect a wagon road near the mining town of Knik. Settlers bought up land around the new railroad station and Knik began a steady decline. Wasilla Station became the new supply station for the mining an trapping trade in the area. In the 1930s the US government …
 
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Hamilton, MT - Ryan Mecum Checks the Earth's Plumbing 1:03:38

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Welcome to Hamilton, Montana! The town was founded in the late 1890s by copper king Marcus Daly, in response to nearby Grantsdale's refusal to let him establish his headquarters there. The town has since served as the central tradepost for the surrounding area. Hamilton was home to the last Kmart in Montana and the entire Mountain Time Zone. Unfort…
 
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Frenchtown, NJ - We Talk About Corn Cob Toilet Paper for Far Too Long 1:12:03

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Welcome to Frenchtown, New Jersey! Originally occupied by the Lenape Native Americans, they were fully displaced by Europeans by 1750. The town had several names until the 1790s, when it began to be called Frenchtown because many of the settlers were French speaking. The town is located on the banks of the Delaware River on the Hunterdon Plateau. T…
 
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St. Johnsbury, VT - Thaddeus Showalter Needs Some Soothing Syrup 1:10:01

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Welcome to St. Johnsbury, Vermont, "Gateway to the Northeast Kingdom." The area was originally granted in 1760 and went through several names until 1790 when the current name was adopted. St. Johnsbury is the county seat of Caledonia County and is the largest town in the Northeast Kingdom. The Northeast Kingdom is comprised of Essex, Orleans, and C…
 
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Spearfish, SD - Madman Teddy Roosevelt Goes to a Smashmouth Concert 1:03:11

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Welcome to Spearfish, South Dakota! The city was founded in 1876 at the mouth of the Spearfish Canyon during the Black Hills Gold Rush. Originally called Queen City, the town supplied mining camps in the area. In 1887, the Thoen Stone was found in Black Hills. It is inscribed with the year 1834 and is purported to be the last will and testament of …
 
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Pauls Valley, OK - Salacious Supergirl Enrolls in Forensics 101 1:00:26

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Welcome to Pauls Valley, Oklahoma, not your ordinary small town! The town was named after Smith Paul, who settled in the area in the 1830s and built a large farm house. The town eventually grew up around the homestead. The town is home to the Toy and Action Figure Museum, which becomes a pretty serious topic of conversation for us. The museum was n…
 
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Churubusco, IN - Sexy Detectives Find New Uses for Coffins 1:09:58

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Welcome to Churubusco, Indiana, Turtle City, USA! Named after the location of a battle during the Mexican-American War, the area was originally two towns that bordered each other across a railroad track. In the 1840s, both towns grew large enough to have their own post office, and the Postmaster General required the towns to apply for a joint post …
 
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Winona, MS - We Inappropriately Use the Friends Clap 1:05:38

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Welcome to Winona, Mississippi, "The Crossroads of North Mississippi." The town was formed in the early 1860s when Colonel OJ Moore agreed to let the railroad and a train station be constructed on his land near the town of Middleton. The railroad and station attracted a substantial amount of business and Winona grew quickly into a busy trading town…
 
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